Saturday, May 31, 2008

A Conversation with my 14 Year Old Daughter - Are Girls Dumber Than Boys? ...


I had one of those weird quizzes pop up on my computer screen and it was a "Dumb Test." I looked at it and one of the questions was, "Are girls dumber than boys? Or is it the other way around. Here were the choices to answer the question:

  1. Like most guys, I'm quite smart, Thank you!
  2. Hey, Just because I'm a girl, It doesn't make me dumb!
  3. Men like me have bigger brains, It's science!
  4. I'm a girl, and clearly smarter than my guy friends.

This made me wonder how my daughter felt about this question. I yelled for her as she was upstairs, but she could not hear me. So I did what every parent does, I sent her a text message on her cell phone! She came down the stairs, and I asked her if she would indulge me in a bit of conversation over a question. She said, "Sure." I told her the question and she said, "Wow! Why are you asking that!?" I replied, "I was just wondering about your opinion and thought it would be interesting to blog about."

Over "everything" bagels, this is how it went:




The Pez Man: What do you think of the question: "Are girls dumber than boys? Or is it the other way around?"

Pez Daughter: Girls are NOT dumb. Well, they are, but boy's are dumber.


The Pez Man: Why?

Pez Daughter: In my past experiences, boys have been dumber because of all the stuff they have done. I mean, look at the recent "Grey's Anatomy," how many smart guys would jump into a pool of wet cement, and stay there until it's hard? I mean, that's just dumb.

The Pez Man: That is kinda dumb, I agree.

Pez Daughter: Guys talk about girls like they are objects, well, most guys do anyway. Guys do that because all they care about is the body on a girl. That is immature. That is dumb. Their hormones are out of control and that's what makes them do dumb actions. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

The Pez Man: Why do you think Guys are so dumb in the first place?


Pez Daughter: They're dumb because their life dreams consist of being big sports stars, or pop stars, which will never happen. I mean, all these guys think they are the "one in a million" who will become rich over their sport or their singing. The dumbest thing, is that they don't even have a back-up plan. There is a certain amount of time to be in a career like that; they care about sports, not their grades, and if they do not make it in their chosen sport, if they are not the one in a million, they have nothing else to fall back on, not even good grades. They do just enough to get by and nothing more. Like the guy who wants to be a pop star...he is going to go to American Idol to try out amoung thousands of others, and then he is gone in the first round. Then what does he do? He has no clue. Now that is dumb.



The Pez Man: Are girls dumb, too?



Pez Daughter: They certainly can be. Girls can act like the guys, but girls seem to care a lot more. A lot less girls act dumb. The dumb things girls do is get pregnant at a young age, do drugs, and these things ruin their lives. There is also lots of drama; just to see what happens. Rumors, just to get attention and reaction. All dumb. These girls live and breathe drama. Again, dumb.



The Pez Man: What is the focus of girls in a general sense?


Pez Daughter: Their own looks, their popularity, grades, relationships, sense of future, and more common sense.



The Pez Man: What is the focus of boys in a general sense?



Pez Daughter: Sports, video games, hitting on girls, being "players," boobs, more boobs, and even more boobs. I do not go one day without a boob comment.



The Pez Man: What makes girls and boys so different?



Pez Daughter: The emotions. Guys do not care, and girls take relationships seriously. Boys do not have the same emotion, and for the most part, do not care; they are immature. The emphasis on school work. Boys and girls see things differently because the maturity level and emotions are very different. Girls tend to think more before they do things than guys do. And if things go wrong; the girls cry and the boys laugh. And the boys love it when they make the girls cry. Girls are a great source of entertainment for a guy.



The Pez Man: Girls are really a sense of entertainment for guys?



Pez Daughter: I have never, ever, in my entire life, known a girl that got with a specific guy just for physical stuff. Girls want more depth in their guys, but they can't get it. Guys want action. All guys want action. It is pure entertainment. Yeah, pure enjoyment.



The Pez Man: Wow. So how do you see adult males and females now?


Pez Daughter: From what I have seen in my life, all adults do is fight all the time. I have never really been around what we call a "happy relationship." My parents divorced when I was in first grade. My father is a smart man; my mother hides behind being a smart woman, but isn't. That is why they divorced. And now, my mom fights in front of me all the time with my step-dad, and my so-called "adoptive mother" and her husband do not get along well at all. And all my current relationships have ended. One relationship I was in was really bad; it ended badly. I cared for him a lot, and I was hurt when we broke up, but he ended up laughing.


The Pez Man: So do all boys and girls grow up to be the same in adulthood? Does this trend ever really change?



Pez Daughter: Only if you really want it to. I have never seen anyone change, but I do think it can happen. I want to believe it can happen.



The Pez Man: If you could change ONE thing in boys, what would it be?



Pez Daughter: Give them some emotion and care.


The Pez Man: If you could change ONE thing in girls, what would it be?



Pez Daughter: Make them rely less on drama, make them realize their life is better without it.



The Pez Man: Do you think you will ever find the perfect guy?



Pez Daughter: Yes, I think I will, but I have no idea how. I am hoping it will just "happen." No guy is perfect, but I think I will find the guy for me.


The Pez Man: Who is the right guy for you? What do you look for in a guy?



Pez Daughter: Someone that cares, is funny, and I do not care about looks, I care about emotions and respect.



The Pez Man: This is a weird question for me to ask, but there is a saying that you will marry someone like your Mom or Dad, so do you think that you will marry someone like your Dad?



Pez Daughter: I have no idea. I do not look at it like that at all because I figure that one person will find me; I will find him. I tend not to really look for someone; it will just "happen." With my luck, it will be that one person who is right under my nose, and I never realized it. That is how my luck would be.



The Pez Man: Do you know any guys that are smarter than girls?



Pez Daughter: Well, there 's two different kinds of "smart." There is smart about grades and intelligence or there is smart about life. I know very few guys that are these types of smart. More girls are smart in those areas.



The Pez Man: How does this all happen?



Pez Daughter: Because we are all different and have different personalities. Guys do not tend to care until later in life. No specific age, just when they mature.



The Pez Man: OK...what happens when a dumb girl meets a dumb boy?


Pez Daughter: They get along. She will be a pop star and he will be a professional skateboarder. And they will live happily ever after.



The Pez Man: Interesting. How about when a smart girl meets a dumb guy?



Pez Daughter: That guy is going to be a skateboarder and has no future. The girl has brains and is frustrated by the whole thing.



The Pez Man: Really. How about when a smart guy meets a dumb girl?



Pez Daughter: The guy is not going to want to deal with the drama, so he either breaks up with her or gets emotionless action. The girl must have nice boobs if this is going to work out.



The Pez Man: How many smart guys have you met in your life?



Pez Daughter: Probably 3 or 4.



The Pez Man: How many smart girls have you met in your life?



Pez Daughter: A Lot More!



The Pez Man: How do you know that you are a smart girl or a dumb girl?



Pez Daughter: I am a smart girl because my future plan is all set, and I have a back up plan. I have thought about my financial situation, and I am avoiding drama. I know that I want a good life; I know how to get it. I am smart.



The Pez Man: I think we should do a whole Blog series on "Conversations with my 14 Year old daughter!"


Pez Daughter: Yeah, maybe. Is that all you wanted?



The Pez Man: Yeah, thanks! It was fun chatting with you on this topic. I found it interesting.


Pez Daughter: That is because you are one of the smart ones. Congratulations.

Friday, May 30, 2008

The Pez Man Speaks....Really!



I have been blogging and using MySpace for several years now. I am one of the few people that I know that likes MySpace. My blogs were all in rhyme, so I will use this one for non-rhyming thoughts and other "mind projects." I work with young adults and for some reason, MySpace is their main way of communication on the Internet. MySpace has given me lots of thoughts on the actual vision of the world and society seen by youth today, which I will get into in future blogs. But first and foremost, I should introduce myself.

My name is Ron and my claim to my "15 minutes of fame" is my PEZ Collection. Having collected PEZ for years, and having an article in the newspaper, which was picked up by the Associated Press, I quickly became known as "The PEZ Man." Even my local television station came by to interview me briefly. I had a small display of my collection at the local library as well, which I was told was one of their most popular exhibits. There is power in Pez. I have over 3,000 Pez on display in my basement and people who visit tell me I must have one of the largest collections in the world. I laugh and tell them that my collection is considered very small in the Pez Collector Circles. I like PEZ because it makes people smile, laugh, communicate, and share. It is that simple.

I am a huge believer in what i call "LPD." It stands for "Lasting Positive Difference." LPD is simply a way of living. For years I have amassed a file that I label "LPD." In this file I place all the letters, cards, notes, scribbles, or any written form of compliments. And when I am having a bad day, where I think I am useless, or not worthy, or some other form of negativity, I go to this file and I begin to read. There I find the words of family, friends, and others who think I am great, or who tell me what I did for them made a difference. Yes you could think this was an ego file, but more importantly, it tells you how YOU do life changing things; sometimes without even knowing it.

Whether we like it or not, we are mentors to everyone around us. And believe it or not, we all change the world, we all impact lives. Why not reflect upon it in a time of need for ourselves?

When I began working as a Mentor Coordinator for Big Brothers Big Sisters, I had no idea how much this file would help me. I now teach this concept in all my mentor trainings. A few mentors have actually started these files and they talk about them in such a positive manner. Imagine what their file will look like in 20 years from now! Do you have a file?

I would challenge you to create a LPD file. And remember that as technology increases, so does your LPD file. Create a home file or place them in a binder. On your computer, you can create an LPD File and place mail messages in this file. There is no excuse for not having an LPD file!

This concludes my first post. You will soon learn that my position at Big Brothers Big Sisters means a lot to me. In many ways, I feel that this is the area that I can really change the world in my own comfort zone. I work very hard for this organization and love what I do. BBBS itself is a Lasting Positive Difference because I have seen so many youth in my community positively change because of being involved in this program.

Your comments are always welcome...some may even become a blog topic.