The Pez Man Speaks...

Pool-Side Fun!

2009-08-16T08:17:00.001-07:00

Contemplating Change

2009-03-07T21:08:00.000-08:00

It is funny how you come to a point in your life that things just have to change.

It is funny that as you stand there, you realize you were in this position not too long ago. And despite your attempts to alter the plan, you end up back at the point in your life that things just have to change (again).

So as things in my life have changed, especially in the past year, with a weary look toward the future, I had to make a decision.

Saturday morning I awoke and realized that I only had 8 days to make a decision in my life. So I made one. And as my son lifted up the empty water jug that held 7 years worth of spare change, my family vacation fund, I realized I had failed to reach my goal. As my son headed out to the car with it, my daughter looked at me and said, "That's our vacation fund!" I matter-of-factly replied, "Well, we gotta keep this house going, I am sorry." Nothing else was said.

So we went to the bank, and as a family, all went in and dropped it off.

Not the moment I wanted with the results of years and years of not spending my change. This money was supposed to go to a change for us, not a change due to the economy and of how things are.

So I begin again hopeful that the next "change" will be the change my family and I want.

Ring in the New Year!

2009-01-03T07:30:00.000-08:00

OK, I am going to warn you now that this is an angry blog for me. You may just want to skip this one. I know that Mama always told me to shut up if I had nothing nice to say, but you know, there are limits. And yes, I know that someone else has it worse than I. That I may be dramatic....over sensitive.....re-active other than pro-active....a whiner....am selfish...and I am everything else I have ever heard in my lifetime that makes people want to dismiss my emotions.

As the dramatic changes occurred in the economy in 2008, I went along with it like everyone else. I am the only bread-winner in the house, and when everything started to go up, I was worried. When i refinanced the house, I saved $1.00 per month...a measly dollar. I knew I was not alone, so I just had hope and faith that things would continue to improve. They didn't, but my smile did improve. But this time to hide the sorrow I was feeling. A close friend once said to me, "You are at your worst when you are at your funniest." I am not that bad...yet...but understood the statement, which has stuck to me all these years.

My oil budget bill went up $85 per month, my monthly electricity bill went up $35 per month, my house insurance went up $50, and gas (depending on the price) hits me at $150 per month at the low point. Never mind the mortgage and other utilities I am failing to mention. I am using my credit card to buy gas and groceries. Through all these changes, I find that I can still smile and carry on. I mean, we are all in this together, right? RIGHT!

So here it is...The Holiday season. Ho-Ho-Ho and all that jazz, right? RIGHT! I am ending a huge project for myself at work, so I go to the office to get some supplies. We are also gearing up for (what I alone call) our major "keep my job" fundraiser of the year. So I am also doing an inventory of where things are since my office moved to my home. I am looking for some unique items that I created for the fundraiser. They were a labor of love...a whole weekend to choose, print, cut, paste-down, blah blah blah. A visual piece of art work you might say. Framed all nice. I only see one in my old office hung on the wall. The others were neatly tucked behind the office door, but they are now gone. I inquire where the others are. No one seems to know. Hmmm...They will turn up, I say to myself. I am so damn positive, too!

So I go about my business looking for the supplies I came for. The office secretary says they are in the outside shed due to lack of space. Man has it been cold here...so I go to the outside shed and clear away the snow from the door to get inside. Once inside, I see the file boxes I need, but they are in the back corner of the shed. I move a few items, and I pull the box out. Yippee! Success.

As I look back before leaving, my eye catches glimpse of a black frame. I pull it out of the garbage bag that covered it and ALAS...there are my works of art. Do you know what a hand-made photo project that is glued together looks like in a frame when it has been exposed to the elements? Yes, a nice ripple effect. Of course the glue/tape had a reaction, and so did the paper, and etc. RUINED! Years of work RUINED! How could anyone put framed pictures of ANYTHING in the cold? It is disrespectful! But hey...no one died, right? RIGHT!

I decide to go in and ask WHO put them there and no one seems to know. I call my co-worker, who knows the value of "marketing" these items have. I told her of the incident and she was shocked. "Who would do such a thing?" I have no idea, I respond, but I just want you to know that I am done doing them. She hopes I will change my mind and do one for this year, but I resign myself to "NO!" She said that she understands, but it was a highlight to many people. Even that did not sway me. I was mad, but I decided no one died, no one suffered but me, so I will just move on in positive fashion. And so I did...I asked for 3 days off right after Christmas, so I will gain my positive perspective back! Right? RIGHT!

Christmas went well...lots of fun visiting family. As I laid myself in bed that Christmas evening, I was looking forward to a few days off to rest and relax. In the middle of the night, I became ill. Rushes to the bathroom, pain, etc. Not fun. So the next few days were spent bringing myself back to the normal world. Can you believe the timing? I finally take some time off to do what I want to do, and I end up sick. I miss the 3 Baptisms being held in the family on the 27th due to my ill feeling. What crappy timing!

I am feeling better by New Year's Eve Day...and all I wanted to do was spend a quiet New Year's Eve to rush out the crap of 2008 and begin 2009 with positive thinking. I will make it. Right? RIGHT!

So here it is New Year's Eve...and it is the coldest day of the year. The wind is whipping, the degrees are very low and the wind chill is lower. As Winnie the Pooh would say, "It's a rather blustery evening!"

As I am preparing some chip and dip, taco dip, and other little goodies for those around me, we played games, laughed, and just had a pleasant time. As I began to wash the dishes at 10pm, I noticed that the water turned colder and colder. "Something is wrong with the hot water!" Can you guess what happens now? Egads!

Here it is New Year's Eve. It is 10:30pm, and the house has NO HEAT! No Hot Water! Nothing! I go downstairs and reset the furnace. It clicks on....yipppeee! But soon clicks off! uggh! So I call the furnace person. "Try to reset it again, and call me back if it doesn't work." It is now 11:30pm and the house is below 60 degrees. A call back to the furnace man shows we are in for a long night. "Hunker down and I will come by early in the morning." OMG!

So as we all ring in the New Year, I am as cold as those in Times Square. My daughter has 5 or more quilts on her bed, I tell her to dress from head to toe, and her room was warmer than the downstairs, so I feel she is going to be ok. She did not want to go to relatives. She gets all set for the night. As I leave her for the night she says, "Dad, this is a bad omen for the type of 2009 you are gonna have!" OK, Like I needed to hear that, right? RIGHT! I love her so much!!!!

We survive the night in single digit temperatures. I can see my breath in a cloud of frost as I speak in my kitchen. I make a home-made coffee cake to greet the morning...and get the oven to warm up the house as much as it can. As I pull the coffee cake out of the oven, the steam from it was incredible. It was cooked through, but the middle still plunged down due to the temperature in the environment. It was nice to have something warm to put inside our bodies.

By 9am, the furnace guy will be there in a few minutes. Do you know how long a few minutes is? IT IS LONG! (Kinda like this blog!). This is ridiculous!

The $125 Furnace Repairman comes into the house. He says the furnace has captured a lot of soot and garbage. He cleans it out, but says the furnace needs to be replaced in a few months. March or April to be exact. It is not efficient due to age. He said that maybe it can be rebuilt for just under $1000.00 or a new one at around $5200.00. He will wait to hear my decision. He takes his $125 check and leaves into the chilly daylight.

The house takes all day to get back to 60 degrees and a full day for my bones to get back to their warmth. I cook and do all things warm. My daughter was excellent through it all and never complained. Maybe she could sense I was ready to lose it. She is smart like that.

So here I sit, not being able to make ends meet each week as it is, contemplating how in the heck I am going to come up with almost $6,000 within a few months, let alone keep things going. I have $19.00 as a checkbook balance, and I wonder how I can look at 2009 with grace, positivity, and hope. I always fake it well, but this one will be tough.

And the worst thing ever, for a "giver" like me...a young boy came to my door today. I could see through the sheer curtain that he had a plastic bag in his hand, and he was collecting bottles for some worthy cause. I never answered the door. I let him stand there and wait as I saw his shadow through the sheer curtain. I sat still, not wanting to move until he moved. How silly is that?!?!

When he walked away...I walked to the computer and typed out this blog. I need to release it somewhere. And I know not many people read my blog, so it is ok. And not many will read this whole blog because it got too whining many paragraphs ago. But if you did get to this point in the blog, please never under estimate the value of people, their feelings, and hope. I feel pretty drained of all of these things myself. People around me discarded my hard-work, without a care for my feelings, and with the cold weather, the increase in cost of EVERYTHING, and the losing of heat on the coldest day of the year, I am low on Hope. You can call me dramatic, over done, whining, or whatever, but it is all painful to some degree. People try very hard not to let you see the pain, but it is there.

So as 2009 rings in another year, be kind to each other even if you do not know their personal stories. Be kind because it is the human thing to do. Listen because it can make a difference. Share because we all have an overabundance of "something," and care because it is the human reaction we should all have. Kindness and caring breed hope. Hope breeds faith, and faith brings miracles.

I need a miracle, but I am going back to the drawing board and will try to begin with being kind and positive.....and maybe the rest will follow as it should.

Happy New Year and I wish for you everything that makes you happy, comfortable, and healthy.

SAVE THE DATE - Bowl For Kids Sake 2009 - March 28th and March 29th

2008-12-17T14:23:00.000-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

The Big Brothers Big Sisters Bowl For Kids Sake Event is gearing up! The Elves here are the ones that make this event truly special. The Bowl For Kids Sake 2009 event is being held Saturday, March 28th and Sunday, March 29th at Sparetime Recreation in Lewiston, ME.

So...for my friends in the State of Maine, who live in, near, or will travel to Androscoggin County, you are expected to be at this event to support the great work of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Androscoggin County.

Save the date...March 28th and March 29th!

Here is how you can help:

1. Donate a Flat-Rate Pledge!
2. Be a Team Captain and create teams of family and friends to bowl at the event!
3. Volunteer your time to make the event a success.
4. Spread the word by being a BFKS Representative at your business! Company challenges are great ways to have fun together and help the community!

If you need any information, I am sure one of the elves at Big Brothers Big Sisters can help you! Call Big Brothers Big Sisters today at (207) 782-5437 x76

Help if you can, make a difference in the life of a child!

Line Up Those Ducks!

2008-12-16T03:22:00.000-08:00

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.

—Herbert Otto

Mass of Dots

2008-12-13T13:07:00.000-08:00

Life is like a mass of dots, isn’t it? You look around at what is going on in your life and all you have is dots. One dot for each item. Like a bullet point on your list of life.

• Call Mom
• Go to the store
• Put up your Christmas Tree
• Prepare the agendas for your meetings next week
• Search the stack of newspapers for the Honor Roll with your daughter’s name
• Begin to get your attitude in gear for the fundraiser of the year
• Get the holiday music together
• Review the missing items in your database
• Remember to get those holiday cards out
• Try and find some money for your mentoring programs
• Get in the holiday spirit
• Buy a real shovel
• Take the bottles to the redemption center
• Pay the bills
• Do another blog
• Really put your office together
• Get the crap off the stairs that has been growing for weeks
• Send thank you cards for the birthday thoughts/gifts
• Get those empty cans off the car floor
• Stop thinking about dead relatives so frequently
• Be happy; others have it far worse
• Put in request for time off during the holidays
• Log in those poor Pez that have patiently been waiting
• Did you even think of the chocolate season yet?

And so the list goes on and on and on…and I realize that the huge mass of dots in my life seem out there on their own, waiting for me to pick them. I hear a sort of “Pick Me!” … “No, Pick Me!” … “Umm, Hello, Pick MEEE!” … in my head. I look at the dots and sometimes I just go sit down to contemplate my next choice; my next dot. Then, out of the blue, an emotion takes over me and I get up, almost in a rage, to do a random thing. I get it done with a lot of effort and forced speed.

As I contemplate my next dot in the mass in front of me, I realize that doing that one thing led me to do the next natural thing because I was already moving. As I sit and revel in my success, I realize I completed more than one or two dots.

The Christmas Tree is up. And to get the Christmas Tree up, I had to move the newspapers, so before I did that, I searched them for the clippings I needed. I also had to get the holiday music on, because you can’t decorate a tree without the music, and this put me in the mood for the holiday season. And while I was hauling things around, I took time to clear the crap at the bottom of the stairs and on the stairs. I hung the stockings on the doors.

I am thinking about dead relatives.

12 hours or so later, I am looking at my tree. It is ok. I begin to think about my dead relatives again. How Dad never saw my daughter, never saw my tree, and never got to share anything at all with her. Last night, as I hung the only ornament made by my father on my tree, it made me pause for a moment with a big gulp. I am wondering why that moment was something to pause about.

As I brought the empty holiday boxes to the basement, I saw my Uncle’s wooden baskets he used to make and give out on Christmas Eve. How we miss him and how appreciated he felt with those baskets. We would cheer when the basket was unwrapped! We all wanted one.

I think of how a friend, who was like a second father to me, would be laughing…over the stupidest things, but I knew he would support me in laughter. When I was unsure, I would look to him in confidence because I knew he would be there supporting me with a smile, a laugh, or both. He appreciated my every thought, sometimes adding to it in fun.

As I sat there, and as dramatic as it sounds, a single tear came down my cheek, followed by a smile. I realized that the mass of dots around me provide me with the joy of connecting them. And without my dead relatives memories, I couldn't proceed to make my own memories. And those lone dots in that mass are there for a reason, and they are for connecting. Connecting our past, our present, and our future.

As the season approaches that we celebrate our religion, our families, and our successes, just remember that we are all dots and we need to continue to connect those dots. This is what makes life worth living. Dots never stop. Dots provide meaning. Dots provide growth. Dots provide understanding.

Just a random thought I had today…why I am sharing? I have no idea. What are your dots? How do you find they connect themselves in wonderous ways?

2008-12-09T14:53:00.000-08:00

Memories of Holidays Past

As houses change from dark to brilliant lights,
As lawns begin to get covered with sticky white,
The memories of holidays past begin to ignite.

As a little guy Santa was a powerful thought,
I wondered if I’d see him, or get a quick snap-shot!
See the reindeer, the magic, and the presents he brought!

I remember decorating the house with gadgets and stuff,
Making it look over-festive til Mom said, “Enough!”
Dad was tall; hit his head on a hanging Christmas ball.

Christmas Eve was special; the family all together,
We would flock to Mom’s like birds of a feather,
No matter what happened; no matter the weather.

Each year Uncle Joe made his baskets of wood,
And Aunt Connie brought ham that was finger-lickin’ good
Everything was good, fun, and made it a great childhood.

As a married man, I whispered a huge thanks to the Lord above
As we experienced our first Christmas; full of hope and love,
But I remember the first divorce holiday; with none of the above.

The magic of children at Christmas makes the holiday great.
Watching their innocence in motion as they celebrate.
You see the hope in their eyes as they lay down to wait.

In the morning they awake to a different feeling; a different day;
Justin is excited for the bowling ball he has wanted in the worst way.
Alexandra opens the Barbie Doll as tall as she…it’s a happy holiday.

The family gets together to eat leftovers and to share,
The joys of the day, and what happened here and there.
The kids are over-tired; hugging good ole Mr. Teddy Bear.

As I sit here thinking; of all the holidays that have passed,
I know that I am lucky; because it has been a total blast!

What is your favorite holiday memory? Will you share it with us?
Did someone drop a pie, did grandma make a big fuss?
Hit the comment button and type…don’t be a “Gloomy Gus!”

Do Something With The Duck!

2008-12-05T16:55:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting quote that was sent to me today:

Getting your ducks in a row is not nearly as powerful as actually doing something with your duck.
-Seth Godin

So what does this mean to you? I know a lot of workers who toil everyday to get their ducks in a row. These ducks in a line help you achieve your job goal for which you are reviewed on at some point in the year. I am sure that some people line up their ducks and do nothing with them at all. They can line up a ton of ducks, but can't do anything with the ducks.

I tend to think that I line up a ton of ducks. I do execute the ducks that I have and some ducks are successful and other ducks are failures. There is nothing worse than a duck that can't swim. I have certainly had enough duck failures to know, but I have also had many duck successes. To some, I may do too much with my ducks because then they are asked to line up ducks as well and execute those ducks. I line up my ducks and do something with my ducks because I see the larger pond at the end of the horizon. Once you line up enough ducks, they can actually move to the place you want them, but not without great guidance and care. And sometimes you pick up random ducks along the way and the line gets bigger than you thought it would. Ok, you might lose a few along the way too, but there is always a hint of "SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST" in the duck process.

To be honest, I have recently begun to get bored with lining up ducks and doing something with the ducks. I used to have so much fun lining up those darned ducks, and even if I failed, it was a testament to what really worked. This is Duck Research. I sometimes think that I have executed so many ducks that I dream of simply lining them up again and letting someone else do something with the ducks...a sort of team effort. My view of the pond has changed. Somewhere along the way it became a raging river. I know I led the ducks to this, but can you do too much with the ducks? I think so.

Just yesterday I had to walk myself from the ledge. And I was wondering how I got to the ledge in the first place. Then this quote came along, and with all my other thoughts, it hit me...I am lining up ducks and doing something with the ducks, but maybe it is not what is wanted, or maybe I am more concerned with the ducks safety than anyone else. Failure can be success. But what I experienced lately was that I lined up the ducks, and was doing something with the ducks, when out of the blue someone else came in and took ownership of my duck. So while I am not the one leading it to the great pond (or river), I did help bring that duck "in line" and to a place where it can be used for success. It just won't be my success.

So while some people just line up ducks, and others execute ducks in proper fashion, and some do both, I see my duck being taken from my line to another line. My first thought was that the whole situation was a waste of time...and in many ways it was, but the duck will live. And this duck will provide job protection, company profits, and community spirit to many, but not for me. At first this made me emotional, and now it merely "quacks" me up. I am happy my duck will live to bring so much joy; even if it is not my personal joy. A good duck is a good duck, isn't it?

I don't think I can line up ducks like I used to. I don't think I can do anything with the volume of ducks. I think I might watch the pond, and help those individual ducks that need attention. I will allow the others around me to line up ducks and give it a whirl. I have experienced a lot from my ducks, and worked hard for a lot of my ducks, but maybe those around me have not. And while they complain about the size of the pond, maybe I need to just "duck out" for a while and see if others populate the pond. I know they can. They know they can. And we will see if they want to really work to achieve the experiences of duck failure and duck success.

Interesting quote, isn't it? Read it again yourself and see what comes into your mind. There is no right or wrong answer. Do it. What the duck do you have to lose anyway?

The Word I Need is The Word That Was...

2008-11-25T15:41:00.000-08:00

When you are not feeling well, not up to par, what do you do?

Lately, I find that my normal outlets are not working.

I am finding that the words I need to console me are words that are gone. I wonder what my father would think of my life, what he would give me for advice. What would he tell me today?

I have been yearning for the company of my father, a man who never really got to know the man that I am, and the man I still yearn to be. As I celebrate my "birth"day today, I wonder how he really felt when he saw me born into the cold world. As I was born, the nation was laying to rest a fallen President. What was the emotion like? The words I need to hear are words far gone. All that is left is what I carry inside my mind, heart and soul. I want to just cry. Do you ever just want to cry?

I did a presentation last week, and as I spoke about a castle building project my father taught me for a high school (freshman year) project, I found my mind racing. I had not really thought about the emotion of that project between my father and I until I was standing before a room full of people. It was not the place to talk about my Dad in great length, but more of a bridge to another passion of mine; mentoring.

I ended up having to turn the presentation over to a co-worker of mine, who I warned that I would do this if I lost my way. I had time to regroup. As she spoke, I got my mind together, and prayed that I could pull this whole thing together and finish. I literally felt like my job, and the job of those around me, were on the line if I did not get my act together. The word I need is the word that was, and I had to do this alone. I finished the presentation with success, and it was echoed by the comments of others. My job was done, and the decisions or reactions of this presentation will not make themselves known for many months. I am hopeful.

The words I need are far gone conversations. I am the only one that can relive them, I am the only one that can speak inside myself, but no one answers. My inner voice has no reply because the words I need to hear cannot be heard, they can only be remembered, and that comes with misplaced emotion; it is not enough for me.

The Universe declared a moment of silence and all I want to do is scream. I have looked to God a lot today, and I feel his presence, but I am not hearing the words I need to hear. I guess I have nothing to fear if my father is near; even if it is silent. I have to trust in his guidance even though I am not what one would call "religious." I am Christian, for sure.

The word I need is the word that was...and maybe that is a gift I am not recognizing correctly. At least I have the memories. I think of the Littles in my program who do not ever ever ever get the words they need. I shouldn't complain. I should feel lucky, but I yearn for the words that I need; the words that were.

Tomorrow is a new day...I will look toward tomorrow with hope.

A "MEME" Tag

2008-11-22T12:07:00.000-08:00

I never heard of a "MeMe" until I was recently tagged by Megin to do one, so here it goes!

Here are the rules: Someone tags me, I write and link back to them. I then tag other people, and they link back to me as well. At the end of the day, we know more about each other then we did when we started.

So here are "5 moments (or memories of moments) that I love" meme:

1. The room is still with only the light of the moon coming through the blinds. I am sitting next to the crib of my daughter looking at her beautiful face as she sleeps the night away. I wonder how I could have helped make something so perfect. As I touch her little cheek, she takes in a big breath of air, as if a sigh, and exhales, moving her mouth just so, and keeps her little face toward the soft blanket. I whisper, "Daddy loves you more than you will ever know." Her mouth seems to form a slight smile. I loved that moment.

2. It has been a long day, nothing has gone right. A friend calls, the day has gone all wrong for her, too. We decide to go out for a late snack and we talk. And talk. And talk. Nothing was resolved. As we are leaving, she gets into my backseat to avoid the torrent of rain. It was meant to be a quick stop until the rain got lighter. I in the front, she in the back, we end up laughing so much we have to try to ignore each other, which we can't. Our stomachs hurt, and we both wish the rain would lighten, but yet, this moment has been the best part of the day. I love that moment.

3. My kids have their friends over and we play "Us Trivia;" where we ask questions about ourselves that the others in the room should know. There is laughter. More laughter. And even more laughter. I love that moment.

4. I can't sleep, and it is a snowy or rainy night. I sit on the couch that overlooks the picture window of the totally darkened living room. I put on a light blanket or afghan, and I gaze out the window to watch the rain fall onto the bushes, the road, whatever. When it is snowing, I can see the icicles form on the individual stems of the bushes. Everything is shiny, glazed over. Slow motion of life as I sit an watch. It is a peaceful roar. I love that moment.

5. I am in bed and I awaken, but it seems like my body hasn't. I feel like I am floating. I feel like my soul is out of my body and taking in the serenity of life. It is a strange feeling, but I like it. I wonder if I am dreaming, but yet, I know I am not. I feel totally free. I love that moment.

Bonus Moment:
Walking along the ocean with the wind blowing all around me. The roar of the winds and water make me feel powerful; rejuvenating my soul and spirit. I love that moment.

Reformation Sunday

2008-10-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a special day for my daughter. She was confirmed as an adult member of our church. I know that this day does not hold the true understanding for her as it does for me. I feel compelled to share the emotions that I am feeling.

When I was my daughter's age, I went through the same process that she did, except there were many more youth in my class than hers. My parents were not considered religious, and I do not think my daughter would consider me religious either. What was important was the religious education.

Baptism was important for me because it meant the washing away of original sin, of being a part of the Lord's family, being a child of God. I remember that as my daughter was baptized, and had her first communion, I felt a lot of emotion. I was not sure where it came from.

And today, as Pastor was affirming my daughter as an adult part of this church, I felt that same emotion come forward. I even turned to see where I could go because I thought I was not going to be able to hold my emotions intact. I have no idea where this emotion comes from. Is it God? is it something from my soul? I felt a lot of spirits around me. I truly did. I felt that I had done the right thing, I had given my daughter a gift of religion, of education, and took proper care of God's Child.

My daughter can now have the promise of God's Grace & Forgiveness as well as the earthly element of bread, wine, and water, as commanded and instituted by Christ.

She is now a sister of the church, a member of the congregation. This is comforting to me because I know she has a whole new family. What can be better for your child than that?

As Pastor explained the meanings of each girl's names, it was funny how she said that my daughter's name meant defender of man. She also said that my daughter has a way of taking care of people, of shining a light, of helping. Pastor hoped that my daughter would be the shining light for many in her lifetime, and that it is all a direct link to God's love.

I know my daughter may not fully understand the gift she has been given today, but maybe when she has her own children, and stands at their baptism, their first communion, and their confirmation, will she experience the joys I have felt, the emotions that overcome me, and the pride in my soul. Maybe my spirit will be around her as well.

I hope my daughter lives in the word of God, follows her obligations to the best of her ability, and remains in awe of what God gives.

I am a proud father that is full of God's Grace daily, but today was a dramatic realization and reminder of those feelings.

I LIKE YOU!

2008-10-08T03:39:00.000-07:00

I love this video and I expect all my readers to go to this web site and look at this right NOW! It will make you feel so good just by watching it. There is something about it that makes you feel positive.

Click on the colored text below:
I LIKE YOU!

Candy of the Night

2008-10-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

My daughter had taped "Phantom of The Opera" on our DVR. She had just gotten up for the day (10:00am), and as she sleepily watched the movie, I got into it as well. Having been up a while longer than she, and being very silly, I began to change the words to all the songs. One really made her laugh when she didn't want to laugh, so I thought I would complete it as best I could. I think my "Live Improv" is much funnier because it is "of the moment," but here is a toned down version.

My poor daughter had to ignore me as I belted out my improv of "Candy of The Night." Good thing that I think I am so damned funny! And to think, other Father's are merely "normal!"

CANDY OF THE NIGHT

Sweet-time happens, heightens your sensations ...
chocolate stirs and breathes imagination ...
silently all senses abandon their defenses ...

Slowly, gently stores unfurls its splendour ...
Grasp it, buy it - bag it now and take it ...
Turn your face away from the healthy diet way,
turn your thoughts away from cold, cantalope bites -
and consider the candy of the night ...

Close your eyes and surrender to your sweetest dreams!
Purge your thoughts of the fruit you knew before!
Close your eyes, let your sweetness start to soar!
And you'll eat as you've never eaten before ...

Kit Kat, Snickers, candy shall surround you ...
Reese's, Pieces, Pay Days all around you ...
Open up your mouth, allow your sweet tooth power,
in this sweetness which you know you cannot fight -
the sweetness of the candy of the night.

Let your mouth start a journey through a sweet, new world!
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before!
Let the sugar
Take you where you long to be!
Eating chocolate with calories ...

Mars Bars, Hersheys, sweet and sour sweet tarts!
Mister, Good Bar, savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your sweeter side give in to the sweetness of
the candy that I eat - the sweetness of the candy of the night ...

You eating can make my sugar flight -
help me eat my candy of the night ...

The Cocoon & The Butterfly

2008-09-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

As I look around me, I see people who dare to be different, who show their colors, and really live life. I see them as butterflies. Those butterflies are fluttering about and have people looking at them with amazement, even if they do nothing. Just their mere presence makes people stop and say, "oooh!"

I see many different types of butterflies:

1. The American Painted Lady - The person who is classic with pearls on, who likes to capture the attention as she comes into a room. Her pearls shine and bring jealousy. Full of life no matter if you had her in the desert or the mountains.

2. The Buckeye - The person you find along the roadsides of life. He flutters in and captures your open heart. He brings a masculinity that can be biting, but attractive. You can't take your eyes off this buck as he does not stay in one place long.

3. Monarch - The person who can take a bright and shiny day and make it even more magnificent. Just when you thought things could not be better, she comes in and creates an environment that fills with energy, dropping jaws, and creating admiration. Poetry in motion with everyone mesmerized.

4. Red Admiral - The person who lives on the edge and takes control. You expect him to come in and make a presence, but when he does come in, even you are surprised at the change he makes in you. You admire and love what this one brings. Entertaining above all with a warmth and sensuality that is unmatched.

5. Mourning Cloak - The person who secretly seems to appear when things get interesting. She can come into a room and change its atmosphere at her whim. It is easy, too easy, and the world seems to bend at her very request. It maddens you, but yet you yearn to be like her to some degree. Makes life interesting.

6. Spring Azure - The person who comes in and refreshes an otherwise boring environment. He does not necessarily turn heads, but brings an energy of respect that makes you feel better just being around him. He has it all in a calm and serene package that is well put together. Strong & Silent.

These butterflies are in pure bliss even though they are so different. Remember that beauty lies within and if you bring it out, you can be a butterfly, too!

And if you are still in a cocoon, you will have your day. When you finally do break free, you will be your own type of butterfly, but you will be free.

Remember that when you are in your cocoon, you are in a tight space and may even feel trapped despite its warmth and security, but when that cocoon opens up, it is a whole new world for you to explore. Remember that you can not begin your life again and fix your mistakes, but you can start a new life today and change your life from being in a cocoon to being a butterfly.

And in many ways, the world is waiting for your entrance. And when it happens, even you will say, "ooooh!"

Moment of Silence

2008-09-11T14:03:00.001-07:00

I knew today would be difficult. I feel like I was not my normal, compassionate self. I am not even sure if this is appropriate to share, but yet, I am itching to write about it, and I certainly do not mean to offend.

I was part of a meeting today and we had a moment of silence to remember those who were affected by the tragedy we now know as "Nine Eleven." As the moments went by, all you could hear in the room was the "tick, tick, tick" of the clock. Maybe no one else noticed, but for me, it was a haunting feeling to listen to each "tick...tick...tick" of the second hand on that clock.

Everyone sat there and reflected, I suppose, on what that day meant for them. And I think that was totally appropriate, and I felt honored that we would all take that time out of our lives for respect to those who had heartache that day and beyond. We never really know how that tragedy affected anyone and how those feelings manifest themselves, we can only give hope and prayers for whatever relief of pain, or circumstance that people involved in tragedies suffer.

As the moment passed, I assumed we would go onto business at hand, because like that tragedy and those we also look back on in honor and respect, we had to continue on with our life, and continue to be positive, motivated, and strong. I am sure I was the only one in the room who disliked what occurred next. We began to share stories of our own emotions of that tragedy, of how we came to find out, who we knew who was in New York that fateful day, who saw what and how awful it was not to be able to get home in the face of this act. I know people find this therapeutic, and a release, and a moment of bonding. And I know I sound very unemotional when I say this, but I hated this whole section of our meeting. It weighed me down considerably, but I had to endure. I respect everyone who had something to say, I even understand, but I would rather have such intimate emotions be played out during a private lunch, a designated time to share these strong feelings.

These moments of discussion, for me, provided moments of negativity. I just wanted to yell, "Shut Up!" I know we all bring "self" into situations, but these memories do not provide relief for the dead, or the living. It was purely for the importance of self. This all has its place, which should have been our inside voices during the silent reflection time.

Bottom line, we are lucky to be alive. We are lucky we are here to tell the story. The television will replay the events of that day and show the utter panic, mayhem, and foolishness. That is their job. There will be profiles of the families affected, and our hearts will pour out for them. If you are an American, that day makes you stop and appreciate what democracy, among other freedoms and choices, really means. When this memory is here, we all suffer, we all cry, we all hurt. In the memory of this tragedy, anyone who died could have been our mother, father, son, daughter, cousin, grandchild, etc. We should never think of ourselves, where we were, or how we found out. On this day, in a moment of silent reflection, it should be about "everyone" and not just "me."

I was profoundly impacted by "Nine Eleven" in a very personal way, and it did not stop just on that day, but on a remembrance day like today, you have to put "I" way back in your mind, and just let flow the good vibes, good karma, good energy, and good will to those who passed, those who still endure, and those who were somehow plucked from being a part of this tragedy just before it became an actual tragedy.

No one in that room knows the depth of my emotion around "Nine Eleven," which is very hard for me, but I feel it is more of an honor to be able to reflect and pray for those who had no choice in the giving of their lives. When you look around the room when you are in a meeting, never take for granted how profound this can be to one, none, or all. And when tragedies like this happen, a moments silence is exactly what it should be, a moment to think your own thoughts, to reflect the way you feel appropriate without spreading your own gospel.

Life is precious.

So take moments of silence to reflect on this tragedy, but to also take moments of silence to realize how great your life is. I use my moment of silence daily during the saying of "grace" at my supper table. When one of us talks, the other is able to have silent reflection. Take a moment of silence...and don't wait for the next tragedy.

BOO! For a Friend!

2008-09-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

I just want to take a moment today and blog about a friend of mine.

And I can sum it up in one word..."BOO!"

Boo means so much...it means the funny part of a situation, but it also means the serious part.

Boo means that it is ok to say nothing when you want to say everything.

Boo means that friendship is still intact despite frustrations.

Boo means dealing with idiots is difficult.

Boo changes the way your day is going.

Boo is so much more than Boo!

Thanks Friend, for understanding.

BOO!

Ever Have One Of Those Sh*&@# Days?

2008-09-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

Did you ever have one of those days,
when you just couldn't get out of your own way,

where no matter where you turned,
you just kept on getting burned?

Did you ever have one of those days
when you walked in a room full of smiles,
and people just couldn't wait
to tell you of their negativity and trials?

Did you ever have one of those days
when you would just like to run away,
because you smiled through all of the crap,
to find it keeps repeatedly hitting you back?

Did you ever have one of those days
when you consider the fight or the flight?
And when your day is all done,
all you really want to do is run?

I had a day like that.

It sucked.

Night.

Labor Day at Portland Head Light!

2008-09-02T14:38:00.000-07:00

I actually spent time as a tourist over Labor Day Week-End. I had a great time at Portland Head Light and was reminded how beautiful of a state we are lucky enough to live in.

"Help Me!"

Aaah, sailing the day away!

Free Admission, rolling lawns, sites to see...Perfect!

The Rocky Coast Line!

A Moment Later, a Wave Drenched me! LOL

Gorgeous Views!

Ever Feel Boxed In? Yikes!

My daughter, the comedienne! Hahaha!

When ya gotta go, you gotta go! Geesh!

Portland Head Light is Picturesque!

I Love my daughter! We had so much fun!

"Alex, act like a tourist!"

"WOW! It is Loud!"

"Bad Alex...B-A-D!" She's such a rebel!

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FAMILY!

"Whatever Ron"

2008-09-01T15:59:00.000-07:00

"Whatever Ron"

It's fun when it happens,
when the conversation drags on,
and your friend feels frustrated,
and just yells, "Whatever Ron!"

I laugh at that moment,
which my friend relies upon,
a funny little smirk,
and another "Whatever Ron!"

I tell her I like it,
when she speaks in that tone,
and a smile breaks across her face,
from the humor I have shown.

"I have to blog this!"
is what I always say,
a "Whatever Ron!" blog
seemed right for today!

So when I am making my point,
or creating evil-worded spawn,
I am ready for the golden words,
and soon I hear, "Whatever Ron"

When my friend is feeling ugly,
and I have to remind her she's a swan,
I give the words right back to her,
and again she says, "Whatever Ron!"

And when she talks to Lisa O.
about me while at the hair salon,
you can certainly know whats coming,
"...and I told him, 'Whatever Ron!'"

My dear friend really knows
that when she is feeling rather withdrawn,
that I will be sarcastically funny,
just to hear a "Whatever Ron!"

When those words cross your lips,
your laugh makes the mood foregone,
you smile at my "correct reply,"
again another, "Whatever Ron!"

And when I am consistantly right,
which you really frown upon,
I almost enjoy hearing you conclude,
"ok, ok, Whatever Ron!"

In closing, My friend,
never, ever feel withdrawn,
because I will forever help you,
even with a million "Whatever Ron's!"

Which Way Do I Go? Which Way Do I Go?

2008-08-31T08:42:00.001-07:00

Things have been crazy lately! I am feeling like there is not enough time to get everything done for everyone I am accountable to. Then there are the "few" things I put on my own plate. YIKES!

This was another bad week sprinkled with a little goodness. I much prefer a good week sprinkled with a little badness.

There were two more deaths in the neighborhood. I cannot tell you how many times lately that I have said or spoken the words, "Don't drink the water on that street!" First, there was the untimely death of a neighbor who had a brain aneurysm. He was on the road when it happened, so you know the scene and what followed was nothing short of horrific for the family to get through. So the wake and funeral was Thursday/Friday.

We then got word that our other neighbor passed away. It did not seem right. His wife just passed away a few weeks ago. But that family is now dealing with losing both their parents within 30 days. How sad. This wake and funeral was Friday/Saturday.

When I went into work on Thursday, I was a bit tired from all the emotion and thoughts these deaths evoke in me. It makes me relive things I have been through, it makes me think that when Johnny died, that could have been my brother, who is the same age as he. etc. You know how this goes. Anyway, my co-worker commented on how quiet I was. I told her that I was simply reflecting on things and that it has been a long few weeks for me. I quickly told her what occurred on the street. She didn't know what to say as she has been going through her own ordeal with her family of recent. It was a quiet day.

On Friday, I was the only one available to go to a City meeting for a grant award. I had to miss the funeral. Sadly, I had missed his wife's funeral due to work as well. Uggh! But, I have to keep things going, and I did try to get my co-worker to go, but she had a day off scheduled. So, I do my duty and go with all the brilliance I can muster. The meeting was not what it was supposed to be, and soon, everyone in the room knew it. It was kinda comical. But not as comical as what happened to me.

During the middle of the conference call, I had to go to the bathroom. Not just a slight urge, but the "Oh My God, I have urine building behind my eyeballs" feeling. I eyed a bathroom not far from where I was sitting. I kept spying it, I was moving in my seat, and of course I did not sit in the back of the room, I sat in the front, next to the grant writer, the superintendent, etc. Uggh! So I realize that I have to get up and go over to the bathroom. Now the room is extremely silent. As I open the door, the knob makes a cricketty noise. Then I open the bathroom stall door, and it creaked so loudly, I was embarrassed. Damn old buildings..doesn't anyone know of WD-40 anymore? Uggh! It was funny, and I was soooo relieved. LOL!

So as there is so much to do lately, and most of it not of the positive kind, how do I keep my head from splitting in two? It is not easy, but here are my remedies:

1. Be Honest. Know your comfort zone.
Have faith in people that when you are feeling badly, they will understand. You do not have to get into the depth of your feelings or emotion, but you can express your feelings so the point gets across so that it can be discussed. No one wants you to be unhappy, and if they cannot take your view into consideration, or there is a lack of respect, then you have to rethink if you are in the right place with the right people. And sometimes, the people you are being honest with can assist you, give you a new thought process, or even share their own experience. And it can really help support your goals...and theirs. Create a "win/win" situation if you can.

2. Find the humor.
The bathroom experience was unfortunate, but funny nonetheless. When Mother Nature calls...! I also surrounded myself with people who are fun. This is sometimes hard to come by in my world, but I have a few people that I can be "me" around, without judgement, so I called upon those people.

3. Make the Difference.
I did go to the wakes, and within those walls, found my way to make a difference by use of my words. One of the things I said to one of the brothers was repeated to me by my own mother when she was recapping to me how the funeral went. Your words do matter; and what you say and how you say it matters. People in mourning may actually repeat them, so if you have something to offer, make sure it Makes the Difference.

4. Keep Moving.
I was not happy that I could not be at the funerals, but I also have a job to do. While the City meeting was not of substance, someone from my agency needed to be there. I was in a great seating position, and even got a comment from a City person at the end stating that she would try and help me with my initiative in October, and she did not see a problem with it at that point. So, Yippee for keeping moving!

5. Take Lunch.
Sometimes I work through lunch, or eat while working, or stay late. On these days, despite the overwhelming feeling, take lunch. And take someone who is positive, or in the same circumstance. Talk about it. Seek remedies for each other, give perspective, or just laugh. On this day, I took my friend and we laughed a lot. We both needed it, and when I went back to work, I was much more focused and ready to handle things.

6. Make a List.
as I get older, a list is becoming more important. Take it as you can. When i know how much time I have, IO can review the list and do several small things. Doing the small things first always seems to help me feel like I have accomplished something, which gives me better drive for the other projects on the list. Try it, it is amazing. Use a pad of paper or use your e-mail programs "To Do" List feature.

7. Compliment Someone.
Nothing makes you feel better than complimenting people. If you see someone having a bad day, compliment them. It interrupts their stride of negativity and infuses a bit of optimism. So when I see someone struggling, which is not hard to see these days, take the quick moment to help, or to add something positive to their day. It is not hard to say something positive to someone you work with each day.

So go forth and be positive and make the difference to keep the split personality at bay. Better days are coming. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

First Day of School 2008

2008-08-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

First Day of School

My daughter began her Freshman year in high school today. You would think that I would be used to the preparation and mayhem by now, but each year there is this little feeling in the pit of my stomach. This feeling makes you realize that life is going faster than you think, that your child is growing before your eyes, but at this moment, you can actually see it occur.

Each year, I take a picture of my daughter before she leaves the house for her First Day of School. She may think it is silly, but it is something i look forward to each year. In many ways, it is all I have left of her youth. She puts up with me, God Love her!

I love this girl so much that it hurts. I hope for her, I wish for her, and I am watching her become a fine, young woman. I am proud of her.

Reflections

2008-08-26T15:58:00.001-07:00

I was surprised to get a few comments from people saying they had come to "The Pez Man Speaks..." and there was nothing; and for a long time. Well, truth be told, I have been a bit preoccupied with my own reflections; my own "internal mechanism." I have literally been in "shut down mode," but trying to act like I am really "Full steam ahead." It has not been fun nor pretty.

My emotions have been so flippant. Coming off my thoughts of "enchantment," this has been a hard time. I have been facing some inner demons or sorts, as well as life changes. I have had to face these happenings and still maintain my current coping skills. It has not been fun nor pretty.

A long time neighbor passed away suddenly. When I went to the evening wake, my good friend was showing me how good her mother looked. I went along with it because it was certainly awkward. But when she began to shake the coffin just enough to see things moving around, I grabbed her hand and told her to please stop. She said that her mother looked so good that she just wanted her to wake up. My friend broke down, I hugged her, and I am still not over that moment. She cried into my shoulder, and I gave her my best words of comfort. But there are no words to describe the grief I absorbed from my friend in that hug.

And today, I found that another neighbor, who is just a bit older than me in age, died today. He passed suddenly as well. I got the call from a neighbor, who said they could not locate my mother to tell her. I got the job of calling her on her cell phone to give her the news. When I told her, the phone got quiet and she said, "You know he is not much older than you, Ron, he is the exact age as your brother. This is just awful."

Did I mention that life has not been fun or pretty lately?

So reflecting in the moment is what I am doing. I have been fighting on some private security issues within myself concerning work, and the first break came today when a voice told me that I was "off the hook." I wanted to cry, but all I could mutter was "ok." I then changed the subject on a current work issue, but those words were a huge relief. But I am not really "off the hook."

The dominoes have already fallen, and now I have to work to replace them. I have been ill over this, and my body has suffered. When I am full of anxiety, my body has real reactions. But two things stick out in my head as I reflect. One, I think God put a co-worker near me when I had to face what began the anxiety. This co-worker understood, and empathized, and "talked me down from the edge," if you will allow me the drama of those words. I certainly was not myself at that moment, but I tried to remain calm and professional. I did not do so well with the professionalism, but my co-worker made me feel "real." Two, the words of another co-worker ring in my head, even though I know I should not take anything serious into it. "Ron, do you think maybe you should go see your doctor and get some medication? Maybe you should be on medication with how you feel. It would be alright, you know." I reflect on this with a single word, "Wow!" I have been actually struggling with myself over this. Should I? Is she right? Blah blah blah.

In my life, I have always worked hard to be "real." It has not been easy, and I have reached an honesty that I feel many NEVER achieve. I have gone through trials and tribulations, that many just push aside. I have helped others to help me learn more about people, life, our society. I have tried to always look in another direction instead of just straight ahead. I have always tried to increase my own personal development, organization, and respect; all without medication. I have become "me" without prozac, valium, or any other medication. And I share all my knowledge with those who want to listen. Not to out-shine or over power, but to share and share and share.

So I have some issues. Who doesn't. But should I be punished for them, or put on medication for them? Maybe. But in the end, I was real. Real with my emotions, real with my thoughts, and real with words.

So as I reflect on life these days, I am tired, but I have learned the following:

1. Be Real because today could be your last day on this earth.
2. Tell people who help you "Thanks" or "thanks for being you."
3. If you have an issue, it is yours. Own it. Learn from it. Do your best.
4. Be professional no matter what! And if you falter, apologize.
5. Wake up each morning knowing that you have gifts; share them.
6. Keep moving despite the pain, the anxiety, or the pressure. Sitting down keeps you down. Just keep on keepin' on!
7. Keep reflecting because it helps you learn and heal.

AND THE BIGGEST THING I HAVE LEARNED: Life is a mirror, and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.

I will try to write more, promise.

Enchanted

2008-08-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I keep coming back to how we have lost our feeling of being enchanted.

Have you ever been in Love with a person or a place? Then this is being enchanted. It is like a spell that is cast over you and nothing is greaterthan that feeling of Love. Your heart races, and it is enchantment that allows you to feel your soul. No other part of your life feels like this special love; you know and believe in the magic of this Love.

When you were young, did you ever go to a special vacation spot or place that seemed like the most gorgeous place on earth? You could lay on the ground and take in the scenery and know you were in a place you love, where you felt safe and exhilirated. That is enchantment.

When we were children, enchantment was all around us. Our parents allowed us this enchantment because it is the fabric of child innocence. Remember when it was Christmas time? You were so enchanted with the thought of presents delivered from a bearded man that came from the cold Arctic area of the world. The excitement that would be in your heart and soul, it would keep you awake, it was magic.

And how silly of us as children to think that a bunny hopped to our house on Easter Day and left us painted eggs and candy in baskets with fake grass. That is enchantment.

As we get older, this enchantment diminishes, and maybe it is because the fantasy turns to emotional reasoning. I think we all need to retain some enchantment in our lives. If you have a special place, visit it, and smell the scent of the roses there. Take in the feeling you get, and discover more about your own internal soul that is fueled by this enchantment.

Please don't ignore enchantment as you get older, embrace it and feel your soul being moved. Don't be afraid to enjoy life, don't be afraid to be silly, or to be YOU.

Do you even recognize the areas of enchantment in your life?

For me, Enchantment is the beach. I go to the coast on vacation, and when I am there, I feel free. I walk along the water and let the ocean breezes whip around me, it is really therapeutic for me. I think many thoughts and love the freedom I feel there. As a child, enchantment was all the excitement I felt at family gatherings. To see the love of family and how coming together as a whole family meant that something special was going on. It made me excited and I learned a lot about people and their personalities. It was an exciting time.

So tell me, what is your feeling of enchantment like?

What a Month it has been!

2008-07-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

I may be writing this post too early. July is not over, but it has been one HELL of a month! The good part, I had vacation, which was well documented on my blog here. My niece is going to deliver her first baby in a few weeks and her shower was a success. The bad parts -- I had 4 days of food poisoning, my computer broke down and I am not sure yet if my hard drive and if I have lost all my information, my son mentions he is moving to New Hampshire, my sister (not the one who had a heart attack LAST MONTH) had a serious car accident, my niece's husband was told his job was eliminated, and my refrigerator died and I lost most of my food.

So today, my son is coming over to get the things out of the attic space he had, my house is a mess from all the movement of items, and he is taking my daughter out for shopping, a movie, and etc. I am glad they are having their time together, but i kinda wish I was invited along so we could do a family thing. We hardly do the family thing anymore, which is sad, but some obstacles take more time to overcome. I have to learn more patience since the honest approach did not work as I had hoped.

So as I sit here in my messy home, I realize again that life goes in mysterious ways. What I once thought was mine really isn't. The computer is gone. The fridge is gone. My son is almost gone.

I guess I should be taking stock in what I do have instead of what I do not have. In many ways I am lucky, and I know it, but I have to be honest, I am anxious for July to be over. I mean, hey, I have a new fridge! New food! That is great, right? Can you tell i have not received my credit card bill yet? yikes!

I am looking forward to positive thoughts and positive progress in my life!

My Fridge BEFORE

My Fridge AFTER

Vacation -Day Twelve

2008-07-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today was clean-up day! I cleaned many bedrooms and two bathrooms! YUCK!

It was a great vacation. I had lot of time to think; ok, too much time to think. I had time to read some books that friends gave me, and now it is their fault that I will be a Dr. Phil to them and to myself. I am more worried about what i will do to myself for all this "open thinking" time.

Let me just share with you some of the great things I feel I have learned over this vacation. Of course, this has come after many thoughts on different subjects.

I may have to blog about some of these, but here goes:

Thoughts I Had Over My Vacation:

-Low Points in ANY relationship can be "Hope Points."

-Every Path you take has a cost.

-We All Choose Fences.

-Quit anything where you can own the choice and its consequences.

-Stay with something if you can own the choice and its consequences.

-Consider the wrongs or broken dreams that lie buried within your heart as splinters.

-Splinters MUST be removed.

-"Status Quo" is not what you think it is; or is it?

-The difference between "Victim" and "Victor" is 2 little letters.

-Cruel Words do to the spirit what a vacuum cleaner does to dirt; sucks you in and entraps you.

-Pledge the "New Beginning" to yourself each day.

-Work "with" your emotions as opposed to working "for" your emotions.

-It is not wrong to have negative emotions; it's wrong to wallow and stay stuck there. (Splinters hurt going in and out, don't they?)

-Real Relationships are far more interesting than dreams.

-Turn anger into your Ally. Use anger to bring people together to generate success.

-What you avoid controls you.

-Touch someone with words.

-Begin with the end in mind.

-Your Faith answers the "why."

-Treasure Your Own Value!

-Pledge to yourself that you will always learn from ALL of your life; the good and the bad.

-FLY BECAUSE NOTHING HOLDS YOU DOWN.

-I am blessed to have the parents I have; the family I have; the friends I have.

-I am lucky.

-I have so much else to do that I am not doing.

-My future needs to change to benefit ME; no one else is going to care for my future as much as me.

-I make a difference.

Vacation - Day Eleven

2008-07-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

Here it is DAY ELEVEN of my vacation! Wow, the time is going by fast! By now you know the drill...Photos speak better than anything when it comes to describing what I am doing over my vacation. And small captions are not even needed for these! Enjoy!

Vacation - Day Ten

2008-07-09T17:42:00.000-07:00

I did not take any pictures today! Alexandra slept in, and we just lazed around! We went to the beach, but I did not bring my camera today! Sorry!

Guess this was a "real" vacation day!

:)

Vacation - Day Nine

2008-07-08T20:01:00.000-07:00

I spent the day on the beach...it was a hot, but gorgeous day. There was not much new to take photos of today, but I will share what I have for today...

Alexandra's Shadow as she puts on lotion.

Houses Houses along the beach

a Smart Youth Puts a can collector at each trash barrel along the beach.

Everyone makes their own foot hole as they sit on the beach!

The water was beautiful today!

A lot of people were in the water today as it was hot!

Calm waters; nice breezes

Hot and Hazy...for a short while!

I have no idea how I took this shot!

OK, I have no idea how this shot occurred either. Maybe I got too much sun today! YIKES!

My Favorite Photo of this Vacation!

2008-07-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

Here is a nice shot of my daughter and I that I love! We were at the beach and had walked to the rock wall (Vacation - Day 8), and when Alexandra was going to snap the shot of us by herself, a woman near us said, "No, No, No! I will take the picture!" We got situated and the woman took the camera and said, "Ok, now, Say WHISKEY!" It made both of us laugh. Obviously, she drinks it and does not have children...I was kinda hoping she would reply, "Say PEZ!"

I love this pic...it might be my Christmas card this coming year!

Vacation - Day Eight (in the Evening)

2008-07-07T19:42:00.001-07:00

Alex and I made it back to the beach by 7pm. I am still not feeling 100%, but am trying to make the best of it for Alexandra's sake! We took a walk and below you will see what we saw. The beach is an interesting place, isn't it?

Alex is gorgeous isn't she?

Me before we began our walk.

"My Feet are tired now!"

Alex took this of herself!

I love the Rock Wall we walk to!

It was a gorgeous night!

Kite Flying!

Making Prints in the Sand!

Running in the setting sun!

The Rock Wall is a comforting place to be!

Aaaah! The Beach!

Supper-time! Will he share the fish?

He is not offering his friend a piece of the fish!!

Oooh, a sea gull fight!

Alex and I noticed all the different "prints" in the sand as we walked. It is interesting that so much happens on the beach and stays there until the ocean rinses it clean. Kinda like being in a huge "Etch-A-Sketch!" Enjoy the photos as we enjoyed discussing what they were!

A BEAR? ok, a Big Dog!

A Stroller? A Bike?

A Dog that needs his claws cut down!

Where Man, Woman, and Dog Meet!

A small doggie! or Sea weed Print!

A Human Being (Wearing Tevas?)

A fading print.

Cool one!

Buckets of fun!

Tire Tracks! Alex followed them as we walked!

Lovers walking side by side...awwww!

This one scares me! An Alien! ;)

Lots-o-prints!

My footprint and Alexandra's Footprint!

Grrrr!

Little kid!

Parent and child!

Was a great evening walk, and I sure do hope I feel better tomorrow and can enjoy more of the beach, and see more of my family and friends as the week goes on.

Vacation - Day Six & Day Seven & Day Eight - I Got Bitten by the "Bug"

2008-07-07T06:39:00.001-07:00

Vacation got interrupted by Food Poisoning!

I have been down for the count as this awful "bug" goes through my system.

I will get back to my vacation posts as soon as I can. I am missing a lot of family and friends, but I have to tend to my health at this point.

I am home until I get better...then I will return to the beach for more relaxation and family fun.

Vacation - Day Five - 4th of July!

2008-07-04T13:07:00.000-07:00

"Oh say can you see..."

Carol & "The Guy Not Taken."

Tom and Jillian...Nice 4th of July Shirt, Tom!

Awwww, Alex and Katie...A Friendship Hug!

"Y" are they friends? Angel and Jillian!

Horsing Around...The Girls Rule!

Debbie with the Peanut Gallery Behind Her!

Here is part of the Group! Happy 4th of July!

What a nice looking group!

Justin and Alex (& Her Ipod!)

Just the Three of Us!

"We're Here to PUMP You Up!"

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY EVERYONE! HOPE YOU SPENT IT WITH YOUR LOVED ONES!

Vacation - Day Four

2008-07-03T20:03:00.001-07:00

Today was spent getting up very early and taking a nice walk all alone on the beach. It was nice to take in the ocean air. My body felt exhilarated after this walk.

Alot of the family came over today, which was really great. It is nice to have everyone around and to be relaxed and carefree! I did not spend the whole day on the beach because I had to bring my daughter's friend home, so we went in town to the mall and shopped before we hit the turnpike to head back home.

While in town, Alexandra got her new haircut...she went from straight hair to a perm!!! It looks so good on her! After the haircut, we went to pick up Katie...Alexandra's next friend to come to the beach with us!

Enjoy the pictures below...Another great day!

I went out for my early morning walk...Gorgeous Day!

Early Morning Views!

It was a calm and quiet morning!

Time for Sand Castles!

Carolyn and Austin enjoying the beach!

Megan resting before her big night on the town!

Mom/Gram Loves having her family around her!

The Beach Stud...!

Aunt Debbie and Hannah keeping the sun at bay!

Alexandra's New Hair Cut! WOW!!!!

Vacation - Day Three

2008-07-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

Aaahh...the 3rd day of vacation. The weather has been so awesome! I have spent every day on the beach. Alexandra ended up with a rash, so I had to head to the drug store so she could have some relief from the itching. Alexandra did not go to the beach today. She and Jenna stayed in the camp house and watch tv and slept the day away. That is the fun of vacation as well, isn't it?

Justin went to NH to look for jobs and called me to tell me that he got a job, so he will feel better when he moves to NH in a month or so.

I had company today, a friend and her son. Tracy and Bryan came up and we spent the day on the beach. I ended up ruining Bryan's frisbee with my pure brute strength. Aaarrgghh!

It was a nice and relaxing day with family and friends. I love this vacation time more than any other time in my calendar year!

Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

Where's the Safari? (Yesterday's Picture!")

Mary Poppins at the beach!

I am the Beach Patrol. Get off the beach now!

Banana Man and Super Nanny! Hahahaha!

Two Bananas were at the Beach....

Banana Riding at Pine Point...FUN! FUN! FUN!

Doesn't everyone ride a wave with their banana?

The Banana Splits!

A Special time with a Smiling Banana!

Bryan and Tracy - A Day At Pine Point, USA!

Stalker Caught in the act!

"It's Time To Make The Donuts."

"I went from a Banana to a Donut."

This is Better than Biddeford Pool!

"Frisbee Fun!"

Trouble, Trouble, & MORE TROUBLE!

"You have so much A-PEEL! Can I take you home?"

Bryan's impression of "Sun Screen!"

"LOOK, I'm 'The Joker' from BatMan!"

Good-Bye Ron! Thanks For A Great Day on the beach!

Vacation - Day Two

2008-07-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

Some Quick Shots of my day that really speak for themselves.

SEE...I Didn't need any words, did I?

Vacation - Day One!

2008-06-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

A Walk on the Beach with the right Music enhances Everything!

The sun came out a bit late today, but enough for me to have a great walk. I had some great music pumping through the earphones, and as I walked, it changed the experience I had. Since there weren't many people on the beach today, it was a perfect day to enjoy the sights and sounds of the Maine coast almost all by myself. As the ocean air pushed against me with great tension, a song came on that spoke of the greatness of the environment. It was perfect.

Here was the beach in front of me as I walked...gorgeous and plenty of room!

The Seagulls Love the Beach too...and act like people!

I thought it was funny to see the sea gulls running in and out of the water like people do. There was not much food for them on the beach, so they did not have to be aggressive scavengers. I think they were enjoying the waves as they slowly washed up on the beach. They would run to the wave, and then turn and run out. It reminded me of how kids do that very same action.

Here are a few camera shy sea gulls...

SEAWEED: The Ocean's Dust Bunnies!

Seaweed is everywhere today! The Town was removing some of it in certain areas on the beach, but in our area, it was left there. It made a line at the top of the beach. Some of the kids like to play in it (ewww!), but so do a lot of insects. Smelly and ugly.

GROW UP! - Why does being on vacation make you realize how your children have grown?

It was great to have both my children at the beach today. What I noticed was how much older they are, and how great they are. My daughter does not get much time with her brother, so this time with him is very special to her. You can see this emotion in her every interaction with him. I wonder if he notices. They have a ten year age gap in age, so that makes a big difference.

Here is Justin and Alexandra together:

Here is Alexandra with Justin's hat on!

Everything's Coming Up Roses!

2008-06-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

It has been a hectic time. Ending the school year, getting all mt work files in order, updating my monthly reports, statistical information, and reviewing my processes. I have worked a lot to look at my product and see where I can improve, where I am wasting time, and how I can be more efficient and have better output for my Bigs and Littles. It has been kinda crazy!

You know that saying, "You have to stop and smell the roses"? Well, thanks to a dear friend who gave me rose bushes a year or so ago, I can do just that in my own yard. In my hectic past few months, I was able to come home and see the roses pictured here right next to my driveway. As I exit my vehicle, I go over to them and enjoy their beauty.

I just thought I would stop and let you see my roses...and maybe the next time you see some, you will stop and go smell the roses and appreciate their fine detail and beauty.

Friendship is a Sheltering Tree

2008-06-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

I often think about friendships. We all have different friendships; different bases of friendship.

I have been in moods of recent where I see the world changing around me, and none of it makes sense. The world is in an emotional state and it filters down to all of us in some personal way. Oil is too high priced, so when it hits our wallets, we take this frustration out on someone else, and so starts the dominoes of life.

When I feel happy or sad, I run to my friendships. I do find friendships like a sheltering tree. You can stand there, feeling accepted, and you can cry, or laugh, or simply just be.

I have several friends that I hold close because they feed me what I need to be strong, satisfied, and loved. Many times we laugh together, complain together, and are quiet together. So as the dominoes fall, we huddle together and brace the storm. And trees are strong and live through it all. They lose their leaves, but grow right back. You can lose a limb, but you do not lose your soul. You can be tossed and turned in the strongest of winds, but you survive. And you can stand alone or be in a group and you still provide shelter.

Friendships are the most expensive thing on the planet, but your investment is minimal, but your value grows over time.

Oh yes, sometimes trees die, but the rings they accumulate shows history, and their seedlings did grow near them, or as far as the wind will take them.

I have friends who have come and gone as well, but our friendship together helped shape who we are as people. I think everyone around us shapes who we are. Through friendships, we borrow and steal ideas, attitudes, lifestyles, and a multitude of other good things. We make them our own, and we expand, and we grow. Sharing this growth is the best feeling of all.

You know, Friendship really is a sheltering tree. Tend to your roots and be appreciative of all that makes you grow and prosper through life's seasons. Hug a friend today.

For Tracy - A "Jeep" Shot!

2008-06-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

CRASH DIET
By: Alan Katz

My Mom Drove us for fast food,
and the guy there had a cow!
The place didn't have
a drive-thru.
Thanks to Mom,
they
sure
do
now.

Father's are Mentors, too!

2008-06-14T03:50:00.001-07:00

I was at our Annual Volunteer Appreciation Dinner, which shows our appreciation for those who volunteer to become mentors to youth in our community. We also showcase the businesses and people that support our organization.

My co-workers and I each got up to do a small speech and give out our awards. I found it very odd, but cool, that in my speech, I focused on my invited guests (Businesses who support us and fundraiser volunteers) as being a real part of the mentoring "Family." They may not be mentors, but they support the mentors, much like a family does with their children.

Prior to my talk, our Executive Director told a story about his own personal life. He spoke about his own mentor growing up, his father. It started out as this great story of what we would consider a normal father-son relationship. The father took such interest in his son's life and interests. He did not want to be the coach of his son's team, but he helped lead the whole organization. So by being there for his son, he was also there for everyone's children. He was a mentor to his son, a mentor to his peers, and a mentor to other children around his son. Exceptional.

The story comes to a point where the son is playing football, in a pre-season game. The father could not be there, but his son carried on because that is what he had to do. He did not get much field time as he was the back-up quarterback, but in this game, he was called in. He called a play in the huddle, executed it, and as this son passed the ball to his teammate, a touchdown was made. What an exciting time for the son. And how sad was it that the father was not there at that very moment to see it. But, the son was pumped up, and knew that the minute he got home, he would be able to relive the story to his Father.

Since this was an away game, it took some time for the son to get home. But when he did get home, very excited to tell his story, he realized from a family friend that his father had been taken to the hospital. This son got into the car and drove to the hospital, which was several towns away. When he got there, his father had already passed away. His father was only 37 year old. He never got to share the news with the man who had molded who he was, who he is, and who he would become.

The relationship to mentoring and the volunteer dinner was that we all NEED someone to share our story with, someone to tell our life story to. This son said that he had a father who cared, but also a father that listened to his life story. He said that every single mentor and mentee in the room had this same special bond.

The "Bigs" in the program and the "Littles" in the program were matched and given the opportunity to share their life stories together. And through this match of friendship, another life story is created. How wonderful is it that these two people blend into friendships and life stories.

I sat there a bit mesmerized for a moment. I think many got lost in their own lives in comparison. This son, who is now my executive director, had shared something so intimate, so personal, that I could not help but think of my own life. My sister just had a heart attack, but she was ok and at this dinner. Then I thought about his father's age and how young that was. Then I realized something.

I do not personally visit with my executive director's family. I do not even think I know all the names of his children, nor could i pick them out in a group of similar aged children, but what i do know is that this is a man who is a good father and a good mentor to his own children. He has taken the actions of his mentor and played it out again, with his own children. He may have lost his Dad that day, but what he never lost is his father's spirit. In fact, he took it one more step. He took that spirit from their story and time together, and he mentors his own children and the children of other people. He has created an agency where the focus is on children and their families. He has a story to tell, but he also shows it by actions in his work. I felt like his story was another opening to seeing what makes this man a man. I felt honored to hear this story.

I have this feeling that his Father was looking down upon this volunteer dinner with much pride. And the spirit of this father is alive and well in his son, for which I recognize and glad I was a part of that evening.

On this Father's Day Weekend, just remember that Father's are loving, caring, compassionate, and change lives. Father's are mentors, too!

Father's Day is so different now...

2008-06-13T03:42:00.000-07:00

My Father's Day was celebrated already. At exactly 6:50pm on Wednesday, June 11th. The celebration lasted 10 minutes in the driveway of my daughters mother's home.

As I picked-up my daughter for her church class at 7pm, my daughter came out of her mother's house with a bird feeder. Unwrapped. Not impressed, my daughter gave it to me and said sadly, "I know it's early, but I could not wrap it, and there was no way for you to NOT see it, so here it is. Happy Father's Day." I was a bit shocked as this was unexpected, but I took it in my hands and said, "Wow, and it has wire over it so the squirrels will not get to the bird food." My daughter then got excited and said, "Yeah and the birds will not break the doors..." She went on telling me all the different things about this bird feeder. I happily put it in my car and thanked her for the wonderful present.

On the way to church, my daughter spoke to me about the lengths she went to get me this present. She needed to unload, and I was happy to listen and communicate back to her. She told me how she requested this present and how hard it was to get it purchased without a lot of baggage attached. I told her that she did not need to endure guilt or any other feeling to get me a gift, that at Father's Day, all a Father wants is to see his children around him. To share and be with him. I told her that she had other choices to celebrate Father's Day, none of which were necessary, but she had options. It was a nice moment.

As I dropped her off to church and headed myself back to work for the 90 minutes we would be apart, I realized yet again the sadness of divorce and the havoc that it continually places on my family.

My daughter had to go through pain and guilt to celebrate ME! She had to argue and feel ashamed to celebrate ME! That saddens me.

My hope is that my daughter will get beyond this and be respectful and giving like I try to be. I can blame my own mother for how I turned out. She always said to me, "Ron, you will never like all the people that you meet in your life, but always remember that the one thing you can always do is respect people. And remember, you can always be in a room with a person you don't like for 2, 4 or even 6 hours, but the best part is that you know when you go home, you leave them behind, but respectfully." God, I love my mother.

So as I have another Father's Day, I realize how different my life is than I had expected. I laugh now as I think of the days when I wondered who I would marry and how grand my life would be. Mother's Day would be filled with the kids and I doting on their mother, and on Father's Day, the same love would be returned to me. Not gifts, but laughter and togetherness. aaah, the dreams of youth.

I think it is sad that divorced parents can not be respectful of each other and commit themselves to making sure their children celebrate the true meaning of Mother's Day and Father's Day. Not for gifts, but for the meaning of honoring. Despite my daughter's mothers actions, I continue to be respectful and celebrate her when it is appropriate and just. It is not to give her a gift or love, it is to make sure that my daughter is respectful and just. For if I do not educate her now, she will not have anything to pass onto her own children. It is tough to lead by example when your heart is broken, but I have mended my heart, and realized that when you have children, you have to provide the best examples despite the pain it may bring you. It is not about you; it is about them and their future.

What keeps me going? What gives me this power to educate my daughter? That is simple. I listen and watch. It is the real joy I see in good family relationships around me. My sister and her husband have three grown children and grandchildren and that gives me hope for my own daughter. My other sister is married and has one child, recently married, and their extended family life is just beginning. And I have one family, which I usually only hear about through the words of a friend, and they celebrate Valentine's Day everyday in their home, so that gives me the most hope.

So what will I do this Father's Day? I will tell my daughter I love her, and we will celebrate having this time together. My son may come by, or he may not, that is his decision. I will take great thought and comfort in my own dreams that other fathers are being doted upon by their spouses and children.

I may not have what I dreampt long ago, but I have the love of those who mean so much to me. I see my daughter every morning before she goers off to school, and she lives with me from Wednesday night through Monday afternoon. In many ways, it is safe to say that I have "Father's Day" in my home everyday. I have a new bird feeder to install in the front yard, and I am truly blessed.

It is GOOD to feel LOVED!

2008-06-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

Below is what my daughter has listed on her MySpace Heroes Page. It is always nice to see things like this in print! This is a keeper!

DAD

iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3 iloveyou.<3
i know i don't say it as much as you would like me to, but i do love you, a lot. no matter what i say or no matter what u think i mean or you think i am acting. i'm still your little girl and i always will be, and just because i am a teenager doesn't mean that is going to disappear. i don't even know how to write here how much i love you. because i just do, pretty much more than i have ever loved anyone, so i don't even know how to say it, how to write it here,.i just don't know. it is easier for other people, because for most, it isn't so deep. it is so hard to explain, it is crazy. you just have to know, how great you are, how lucky i am and how lucky i feel, and how much i love you. i could describe it as well as a blind man could describe colors. it is too complex for words. the only things i can think of, and they don't even come close to how much i really love you, is that you are my everything. i wouldn't be me without you. i love you, through the good and the bad. i really really do. i am always your missy dolittle froo froos. i know how much you do, keeping our lives on track and paying for everything, working all the time and doing everything else. i do appreciate it. you are really great, and one of a kind. ur that one person that is unlike any other, and will never be forgotten. you always put others before yourself. who wouldn't love you, really? i care about you so much. not to mention you are hilarious. and enjoy this now, cuz i will NEVER admit this again. yeah, just about every time you crack a joke, no matter what mood i am in, i hold back a smile or laugh. especially when you accuse me of it. and i don't know why, lol. so yeah, your pretty silly. just think,...everyone else has a normal father. :] haha. i couldn't ask for more. i know this isn't much, but i don't even know what else to say, even though there is so much more i could say. i just cant put it into words, it is kinda hard to explain. it is just in my heart, it isn't something that can be written down. i hope you get it, just by this, of how much you are in my heart. basically;;you are my everything. and i love you, always, forever.<3

The Proof is in the PEZ!

2008-06-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am sure many of you are wondering how many Pez I have, and what they look like all together living in Pez harmony! I would be happy to allow you a peek into my PEZ ROOM!

If you are planning a visit to my Pez Room in the future, I would suggest that you do not look at the link I am about to post. It is better to see it without having had a "pez peek!"

If you go to Ron's Pez Room Tour 2008, you will see that I do indeed collect PEZ! It may take some time for it to load up, but it is worth the wait. I would love to hear your thoughts on this wild display of Pez fun!

Enjoy!

"The Ron Hood Special" at Marco's Italiano Restaurant

2008-06-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

I bet you are wondering why I would have a picture of a plate of food on my blog. Well, an interesting thing happened to me yesterday and I thought it might be worth sharing.

I was at an appointment and as I was leaving, I saw an elderly woman approaching the door, so when I went out the door, I held it open for her. She was moving slowly, but I waited patiently. After all, it was raining. One of those raw days.

As she approached the doorway, she stopped and said, "Well, look at you, there is a gentleman still among us." She noticed I had my work name tag on, and she read it aloud, "Ron Hood." She paused to tell me that her name rhymed, and she repeated it several times and chuckled to herself. As she walked into the door, she stopped half-way through and said, "Ron Hood? Are you the fellow that has a dish named after him at Marco's?" I laughed and said, "Yes, that is my dish." She said, "I had no idea the gentleman who would be so kind would be the same Ron Hood. I had that dish and it was delicious, really delicious." I thanked her and we both went on our way.

Interesting that you never know what will happen during the course of a day.

The Ron Hood Special is Grilled Chicken with dijon sauce, angel hair pasta with garlic and butter oil, and a small amount of dijon sauce for additional dipping. If you are bothered by too much garlic, there is the Ron Hood Special with veggies, which is the same as the "original," but you remove the pasta and get carrots & potato rounds. Either way, YUMMY!

OMG...People Are Reading My Blog!

2008-06-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

I received a call today from "The Boss." He has been sick all week, so when he said to me, "Ron, I just wanted to call to see how your sister is," I just figured he had gotten word from someone at work. As I began to tell him how I felt, he said, "I know, I read about it on your blog." My reaction was, "Oh My Goodness, I never thought anyone was REALLY reading my blog. No one knows about it." He laughed a bit and said, "Well, I know 2 or 3 people that know about it."

In my warped little world, no one was reading it, or they would comment, right? Hahaha! What A fool I can be! I knew Megin and Rob had commented, but i thought they stopped reading it since life is busy. After all, it is Valentine's Day in their house everyday, so why would they choose to come here to read my blogs. No Pressure.

So for the one or thousands of you out there who could be reading my blog...or not...I apologize for my lengthy character. Sorry, it is a part of what makes me; ME! Gotta love me!

I did begin my 365 List on a separate blog, and I am enjoying that a lot. Check it out. Only 44 words for each entry!

By the way, my sister is now home, and she is scared, but who wouldn't be. This is not a death sentence for her, but more of a wake-up call, but I can understand how scared she must be. I would rather have her scared and alive than scared to death.

And Rob, thanks for caring and asking. I hope you get better and get back at work soon.

Take care to all my friends!

The Pez Nurse Watches...

2008-06-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

I was at work today discussing the future of next year's Big Brothers Big Sisters Program with one of my school representatives. I had the normal comments about how high gas and oil prices are, which keeps people at home, which means people do not volunteer anymore, and people do not "give" anymore.

I was trying to tell this person that we need to stimulate volunteers because staying home is not doing them any good. They end up dwelling in the negative, and maybe we need to focus on how volunteering can actually improve our health. We discussed how attitudes are so important, and we had to follow this up with action.

I was having a great time as we swapped success stories, how we each change lives or at least improve them, when my cell phone rings. I take it out of my pocket, upset that I had not either left it in the car or put it on silence. The screen had my mothers name on it. I hit the "ignore" button since I was at a lunch meeting. (TIP: Never hit the ignore button when it is your Mother. They know!).

As I was changing the cell phone to silent, the phone rang again..you got it; Mom. I decided to take the call. I said hello and told her that I was in a meeting and that I would like to call her back when I finished. She said in an emotional voice, "OK. I just called to let you know that your sister had a heart attack a few moments ago. There is nothing you can do now, we are just waiting. Call me when you are done. Or maybe I will call you when I hear something; anything. I just want to be sure that you get your daughter because she will get off the school bus and come to my house with the door locked. I need to know you can get her ok." I tell her that I can get her and she should not worry. I then hear a muffled sobbing cry. I was speechless. Did she say my sister had a heart attack? MY SISTER? She is only 48. MY SISTER?

I asked Mom if she was alone with my sister. She said that she had my brother-in-law, my other sister, and my brother with her. I told her that I would finish my meeting, and then call her up. She said that was fine.

The woman I am with says, "Are you ok?" I said, "Yes, yes, I am. Just give me a moment to collect myself." There was a silence that was deafening. My mind was running so fast; faster than normal. I had to prepare my big celebration in that town, then I had to go pick up the items for my awards banquet later this week, and I had to go to yet another town to hold an end of the year celebration at an after-school program. "Did Mom say she had a REAL heart attack?"

I look up at the woman I am with, and with all seriousness, I said, "My sister had a heart attack. She is safe and under medical care. There is nothing I can do for now, so I am going to continue our lunch, go to the elementary school to pick up my items, then I will go get my daughter. I only have to figure out the end of year party in the next town at 3:30pm today. I can handle this. I can." The woman looks at me with watery eyes and says, "We can get our food to go. Really." I quickly replied, "No. She will be ok. She is under care, and there is nothing I can do to help if I was there. My mother will call if things change. She will call again."

I looked at the woman and said, "This kinda ruined the mood." She said, "Yeah, but I tell you what, I am going to go home tonight and hug my husband and call my daughter and tell her that I love her." I said, "You know the brealfast celebration we are having tomorrow morning at your school?" She replied, "Yes, but do not worry about that!" I said, "It was my sister who was preparing the breakfast items for that party." "Oh my goodness," replied the woman, "we can cancel the party if need be." I immediately replied to her, "Oh no! I will pull myself together to get through this party. I will make other arrangements for the food, and this party WILL occur. I got a donation of a bus and the bus will roll. If I need to fall apart for any reason, I will do so after the party."

As our food was delivered, we had light conversation about the important things in life. Surface stuff. It was nice. I think this woman and I had a tightening of our working relationship today. I think this will keep us closer in the future because we invested emotion, personal emotion, into each other today.

I went to the other schools and finished picking up my items, listened to some complaints, which seemed so trivial and minor today. I responded accordingly, but wanted to yell, "Shut Up, my sister had a heart attack you fool!"

When I got home to pick my daughter up from the bus, I decided to check my work e-mail messages. I got an e-mail from a co-worker that insinuated I was acting in a manner that I was not. I shot off an e-mail to her telling her my true intentions and that she actually read my e-mail incorrectly. I used caps for some words, which showed my anger, but I did not care.

My daughter and I sat in the car as I told her the news. Her face looked how I felt. It made me want to cry. I explained all that I knew and told her there was nothing we could do but support her. I told her I had a party to attend to and I wished she would come with me. I did not tell her, but having her with me made me able to hold it all together.

She helped me lug in the party items, and we were both very quiet. I think in many ways we each had a job to do emotionally and we did it.

I held the party...and no one knew the real pain that was inside my daughter and myself. I talked in front of a group of children, had them sign thank you cards for our Big Brothers Big Sisters supporters, and took photos. I passed out my Pez gift packs, and made everything perfect. As i passed out the packs, I noticed that one of the Pez was a nurse. I wanted to cry right there. I held onto it.

When I got to the car after the party, I asked my daughter if we should give this to Aunt Debbie. She shook her head yes uttering no sound. Her emotions were loud, however.

At the hospital, I took the elevator to the 3rd floor. I got out and the sign said "Birthing Center" and "Lactating Room." I just stood there in disbelief, then I started to laugh. We went back to the main entrance and found the right set of elevators.

Once in the room, my sister was as alert and said hello. Her first words to Alexandra were, "I am going to be fine, and we will be walking the beach on vacation, don't you worry." Alexandra broke down in tears and hugged me as she cried. I kept kissing her head to assure her that I was here for her. Her face was red and her mascara had run onto my white shirt. It would not come off. I said, "Good qualtiy mascara because it runs but never goes away." We laughed. I took my Big Brothers Big Sisters name tag and covered the area, which got a few more chuckles.

My mother was sitting on the window seat with my pregnant niece, and in a recliner type chair was my brother. The chair was right next to the hospital bed. I looked at the site and it was sad. I know my mother was thinking that she did not want to lose her daughter before herself. My mother lost her mother, her husband, and her twin sister within a year and a half or so, and she did not want to have one of her children pass away before she did. My niece was wiping away the tears as she watched Alexandra, and I am sure she was thinking a lot about the life she is bringing into the world, and how things can change in an instant. My brother was sitting there and you could tell he had no intention on moving. He became the support for my brother-in-law and he was not leaving until he felt they were ok, and they were not ok.

All the machines hooked up top her reminded me of a transformer. Alexandra and I had just watched that movie over the weekend. She could not move one leg and one arm, and if she did, an alarm went off. She had several "drips" going into her body, and even though she was smiling and saying she was fine, our hearts were telling another story. She said that all the pain she had been experiencing was now gone, and at least she now knows what is going on.

She was right. She could do nothing but let the doctors do their job and she had to cooperate to get her body back to normal.

I got restless, and I am not one to just do nothing, so I began to pace the room, I began to read all the signs: "CODE BLUE - Hit button and then call 9-1-1" "Guest services offers many options..." "Restrooms are for patients only...see a nurse for more information." As I looked at everything my eyes could absorb, I kept clutching the Pez Nurse that was in my front pocket.

I decided that I could not just stand around and wait for nothing. And since no one offered me a seat, I had to think about leaving. I was emotional, and becoming weak in the knees. I saw a bulletin board hanging on the wall opposite my sister's bed. It had a wide lip along the bottom to accommodate write-on/Wipe-Off erasers and pens. I quietly took the Pez nurse out of my pocket and stood her on this lip. I stood in front of it. Then my daughter and I said our good-byes. We left.

It was a quiet ride home to her mother's house. I certainly tried to tell her how lucky her Aunt Debbie was, and we are lucky to be able to see for ourselves that she is in good spirits. I think my daughter just needed to be with her mother to express her emotion because Alexandra is smart enough to seethe emotions in that hospital room. He Aunt Debbie is a mother, but she is also someone's daughter and someone's sister. I think Alexandra needed to have a moment with her own mother. To be able to express whatever she needs to express, to share whatever comes out naturally. Alexandra needs to be her own person with her emotions, which I know she will handle well.

My cell phone went off again as I pulled into the driveway of my home. I sat alone in the vehicle and spoke to my mother, who said, "Did you leave the Pez Nurse for Debbie?" I said, "Yes, someone has to always be watching, even if it is just a Pez." My mother said nothing for a moment, and then said, "I knew it was you, I just knew it." I could hear the other family members laughing. My mother said, "OK, I had to call and ask. I knew it was you. I just knew it." I thought to myself, "There is power in Pez....Really."

I sat in the driveway and as rain began to slowly tap the glass and distort the clear vision through the glass, I began to cry. My sister had a heart attack. Oh My God.

I know this sounds silly, but with that Pez in her room, I feel like I am there; attached. The Pez Nurse is watching...really...and she is very, very sweet.

A Morning Ritual...

2008-06-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

I have been divorced now for 7+ years. Being an involved Father, I thought I wouldn't be able to see my children enough. As luck would have it, I have my daughter Wednesday night through Monday each week, and she is dropped off at my home each morning to take the bus to school from my house. I am lucky. I am fortunate. I am rich. I could cry.

So for the last few years, my daughter comes into the house for a few minutes before I drive her to the bus stop several streets away. We have some great morning chats, or other times we don't say much of anything.

If you read my post yesterday (which was really earlier this morning), you knew I had a hard time getting to sleep with all the emotions I had going on. I was tired. Very tired. I went to bed at 1:45am and my clock goes off at 5:30am, but I usually roll out of bed 5 or 10 minutes after that.

This morning, however, I slept through the alarm. And when I looked at the clock, it said 5:50am. I awoke in a panic and my first thought was that I did not hear the upstairs shower running, so my daughter was not up yet. Oh my goodness...she is going to be late because I am late. It takes her over an hour to get ready in the morning, and it is so quiet in the house. All of these thoughts are racing through my head. To save time of going to the bottom of the stairs yelling to her, I decide to call her cell phone because we all know it is still on and not charging!

As I hear the first ring of the phone, I realize. IT'S TUESDAY. I hang up. She is not even IN my house. She is at her mothers. I laugh at myself, and as I think, "Man, Ron, are you tired and out of it.." the phone rings. I jump. And I did NOT yell like a girl. I answer the phone and it is the tired voice of my daughter. "Dad, did you call me?" I said, "Yes, but never mind. My bad." She chuckles and says, "See you later."

When I hear the car door outside slam shut, I know my daughter is here. She comes in and I begin my usual welcoming greeting. "Froo Froos is here! I missed you! Did you miss me?" She looks at me smiling slightly and says, "Dad, it's early." I tell her that I called her so early because I thought she was in my house and we were late. She laughs.

Then an amazing thing happened. She came over to me and just rested her head on my shoulder. We stood there in the kitchen and she just rested herself. She is 14 and at an age where it is not cool to hug your parents, so this one moment was very special to me. It reminded me of when she was a baby and she would fall fast asleep in my arms. I didn't move and only said that I loved her and that she was the best daughter in the world. She quickly said, "Umm, Dad, I am your only daughter." I quickly said, "How do you know that for sure?" She then laughed and said, "Yeah. Right." I said, "It could have happened!" She says, "Ok, Dad, OK!"

Time for the bus! I love the morning ritual at my house. And I do have the best daughter in the whole world.

The Emotions of Making A Difference...

2008-06-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

STOP! Emotions are in the roadway! Please take a moment to reflect on how you made a difference today and the emotions you felt.

I had a very long day today at work. Nothing went the way I thought it would, but overall, in retrospect, it went rather well. Just not as I had anticipated. Life is funny like that.

I held some end of the year celebrations for my mentoring programs. It was a lot of lugging of party items, setting things up, being the emcee for the party, making sure I thanked everyone, blah blah blah.

At my first party, I had over 60 people in the room. It was amazing! Each person in that room was involved in some way, shape, or manner with my mentoring program. When I talked about how special mentoring is, and how proud they should be to be involved, there was no emotion. But when I had goodies to give to them to remember their special place in my mentoring programs that was different. When I had them come up to get their own packets, it reminded me of the days when cabbage patch kids were the "Hot Toy." The emotion was frantic.

"I saw your Pez Tie and I knew we were getting Pez!" ... "I think its cool they call you the Pez Man." ... "I hope you have a chewbacca Pez for me!" .... "I love Pez; just like you!" .... "Can I take two?" ... "This is better than Pizza!" ... "Do people think you're weird for collecting Pez?" ... "What happens to your Pez when you aren't here anymore?" and my favorite (from the principal): "Pez is something so wonderful and universal, isn't it? Everyone likes Pez. Do I get one?"

After that, more lugging, cleaning up, etc.... I then do the same thing for another party an hour or so later. Except this time there were only 15 people in the room. And the emotions were rather bland in comparison. No frantic emotions, no excitement. It was as if they were in slow motion. Kinda crazy! I wondered if it was all worth it. And would it be the same without Pez? Without me?

I had worked all day long with no lunch and no supper. To busy to stop for today. I then head to an awards banquet at a local high school. I am presenting awards to 3 students for their dedication to Big Brothers Big Sisters. We are meeting in the gym and there are lots of seats to sit in. The crowd gathers and it is made up of a huge cross-section of the community. Parents, grandparents, students, professionals, kids, etc.

The speeches were very quick and the awards were given out quickly. I began to have an internal panic attack because I am giving out 3 awards and my speech is 6 pages....typed! Oh My Goodness, I say to myself...I am going to bore them to pieces! I am really panicked.

I begin to get nervous as my name is called to present. I walk up to the microphone and I was immediately intimidated for some reason. I stumbled on my first words, but quickly corrected myself and began my speech. For some reason I lost total touch with the audience and never really focused on one or two people, like I usually do. YIKES! I scanned the audience at appropriate times during the speech. Other times i just concentrated on the paper in front of me. I was sure I sounded and looked nervous.

As I presented my first two awards, the crowd was quiet and respectful, and when I announced the names of the first two winners, I heard great applause. Maybe they were glad I was done, but yet I had one more presentation and it was many pages long! Uh-Oh!

I then realized that I am here talking about young adults who make a difference in their community, and I was going to complete my speech as planned. We never hear about the good deeds that students do to better their communities, so I just went for it, albeit nervously.

I began to talk about the "Big Sister of the Year" and I could tell the audience got very quiet. As a few moments passed, I felt a bit of a panic and thoughts of "taking too long" danced in my head. How many internal voices can one have? I felt like all my voices were fighting. My reaction was to stick to my typed words, but I picked up the pace. I expressed the emotions of how one person literally changed the life of another person. I then got lost in my own words and totally got into the emotion of the speech. I choked up at one point, but then quickly got back on professional track. I didn't care what I was saying as long as I was saying it. It is important. People need to know "Big Sisters of the Year" actually exist.

When I got to the end of my speech, and introduced the Big Sister of the Year, the young woman stepped up from the sea of people in front of me. She walked swiftly towards me. She was totally red faced from crying. When I saw her emotion, it stunned me. The Emotions of Making A Difference vary so much. This young lady is really just beginning her life, and she has already saved one. Amazing. Freakin' Amazing!

She came up to me and before even reaching for her award, she just hugged me and thanked me. I gave her the awards and said, "You deserve this moment so much, you really do." She turned from me, still full of emotion, and headed back into the sea of people from which she came. She blended back in, and I, too, went back to my seat and blended in as well. And so the show goes on.

When I sat down, a friend said to me, "You pulled the heart strings of every mother in this room with your speech." I replied, "I hope I wasn't too long, that is all." My friend said to me, "Ron, the audience was totally captivated by your words. They hung onto each word you said. A speech is never too long when everyone is engaged in it. I am surprised that mentor didn't get a standing ovation." All I thought was, "Wow!"

I looked around the room, and I saw many faces looking at me. Some would look away when our eyes would meet, while others smiled slightly. The woman sitting next to my friend said, "I don't even know this Big Sister of the Year, and I am crying. My son is a senior, and he should have mentored. I missed that one!"

Later in the evening, when my friend and I stopped to get a bite to eat because I was totally famished, my former supervisor saw me and said, "Great job at the award ceremony, you actually made me cry. Good Job!" My friend said, "See...you made an impact. I saw how many people were captivated by your story of the success of this one mentor and her Little. It was Amazing."

It really was amazing to me that a room full of 60 people in the morning can be so different from 15 in the afternoon and 100+ in the evening. All the environments were different, yet all the people who were at these celebrations were there for the purpose to celebrate the difference people make, or the difference they make.

All people have passion, and I think it is great when we see it, when it is respected, and it is celebrated. When have you told someone who makes a difference in your life that they deserve to be celebrated? That you notice their passion. Do you have local awards that honor those people? Have you nominated those people for awards in your area? Have you written a letter expressing your emotion?

Share your emotion. Share your story. Share the success. We will all be captivated by it in the right circumstances. There is no denying that people make a difference in our daily lives. Why deny them the right to be celebrated. Share. And Share often.

I am hoping by doing this blog, I can finally get some sleep. Very long and emotional day.
And yet so satisfying.

Say What You Mean To Say...

2008-06-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

We all know that communication can be difficult. Our current emotions can make us filter another person's message incorrectly. So I guess we have to learn to say what we really mean to say. Here is an example.

My Friend (In a Pierced Lip tone):
Where the heck have you been all day? (The Look).

Me:
Well, I have been doing....umm, Hey, are you mad at me because I am here so late? Or have you had a bad day? or did you just miss me? (Me, Smiling Brightly).

My Friend (Smiling):
I guess I just missed you and wished I had seen you earlier, that is all.

Me (Smiling):
I missed you, too, and wish I had been here earlier too!

Interesting isn't it? My friend wasn't mad at me, she was just communicating that she wished I was there earlier. This was all about Love and kindness, not anger and hatred!

So next time someone treats you like this, just ask...Is this what you mean to say?
It can cut through a lot of non-verbal wondering and get right to the meat of the subject. Communicating is difficult with the busyness and business of life, so make it as simple as you can.

A Conversation with my 14 Year Old Daughter - Are Girls Dumber Than Boys? ...

2008-05-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

I had one of those weird quizzes pop up on my computer screen and it was a "Dumb Test." I looked at it and one of the questions was, "Are girls dumber than boys? Or is it the other way around. Here were the choices to answer the question:

Like most guys, I'm quite smart, Thank you!
Hey, Just because I'm a girl, It doesn't make me dumb!
Men like me have bigger brains, It's science!
I'm a girl, and clearly smarter than my guy friends.

This made me wonder how my daughter felt about this question. I yelled for her as she was upstairs, but she could not hear me. So I did what every parent does, I sent her a text message on her cell phone! She came down the stairs, and I asked her if she would indulge me in a bit of conversation over a question. She said, "Sure." I told her the question and she said, "Wow! Why are you asking that!?" I replied, "I was just wondering about your opinion and thought it would be interesting to blog about."

Over "everything" bagels, this is how it went:

The Pez Man: What do you think of the question: "Are girls dumber than boys? Or is it the other way around?"

Pez Daughter: Girls are NOT dumb. Well, they are, but boy's are dumber.

The Pez Man: Why?

Pez Daughter: In my past experiences, boys have been dumber because of all the stuff they have done. I mean, look at the recent "Grey's Anatomy," how many smart guys would jump into a pool of wet cement, and stay there until it's hard? I mean, that's just dumb.

The Pez Man: That is kinda dumb, I agree.

Pez Daughter: Guys talk about girls like they are objects, well, most guys do anyway. Guys do that because all they care about is the body on a girl. That is immature. That is dumb. Their hormones are out of control and that's what makes them do dumb actions. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

The Pez Man: Why do you think Guys are so dumb in the first place?

Pez Daughter: They're dumb because their life dreams consist of being big sports stars, or pop stars, which will never happen. I mean, all these guys think they are the "one in a million" who will become rich over their sport or their singing. The dumbest thing, is that they don't even have a back-up plan. There is a certain amount of time to be in a career like that; they care about sports, not their grades, and if they do not make it in their chosen sport, if they are not the one in a million, they have nothing else to fall back on, not even good grades. They do just enough to get by and nothing more. Like the guy who wants to be a pop star...he is going to go to American Idol to try out amoung thousands of others, and then he is gone in the first round. Then what does he do? He has no clue. Now that is dumb.

The Pez Man: Are girls dumb, too?

Pez Daughter: They certainly can be. Girls can act like the guys, but girls seem to care a lot more. A lot less girls act dumb. The dumb things girls do is get pregnant at a young age, do drugs, and these things ruin their lives. There is also lots of drama; just to see what happens. Rumors, just to get attention and reaction. All dumb. These girls live and breathe drama. Again, dumb.

The Pez Man: What is the focus of girls in a general sense?

Pez Daughter: Their own looks, their popularity, grades, relationships, sense of future, and more common sense.

The Pez Man: What is the focus of boys in a general sense?

Pez Daughter: Sports, video games, hitting on girls, being "players," boobs, more boobs, and even more boobs. I do not go one day without a boob comment.

The Pez Man: What makes girls and boys so different?

Pez Daughter: The emotions. Guys do not care, and girls take relationships seriously. Boys do not have the same emotion, and for the most part, do not care; they are immature. The emphasis on school work. Boys and girls see things differently because the maturity level and emotions are very different. Girls tend to think more before they do things than guys do. And if things go wrong; the girls cry and the boys laugh. And the boys love it when they make the girls cry. Girls are a great source of entertainment for a guy.

The Pez Man: Girls are really a sense of entertainment for guys?

Pez Daughter: I have never, ever, in my entire life, known a girl that got with a specific guy just for physical stuff. Girls want more depth in their guys, but they can't get it. Guys want action. All guys want action. It is pure entertainment. Yeah, pure enjoyment.

The Pez Man: Wow. So how do you see adult males and females now?

Pez Daughter: From what I have seen in my life, all adults do is fight all the time. I have never really been around what we call a "happy relationship." My parents divorced when I was in first grade. My father is a smart man; my mother hides behind being a smart woman, but isn't. That is why they divorced. And now, my mom fights in front of me all the time with my step-dad, and my so-called "adoptive mother" and her husband do not get along well at all. And all my current relationships have ended. One relationship I was in was really bad; it ended badly. I cared for him a lot, and I was hurt when we broke up, but he ended up laughing.

The Pez Man: So do all boys and girls grow up to be the same in adulthood? Does this trend ever really change?

Pez Daughter: Only if you really want it to. I have never seen anyone change, but I do think it can happen. I want to believe it can happen.

The Pez Man: If you could change ONE thing in boys, what would it be?

Pez Daughter: Give them some emotion and care.

The Pez Man: If you could change ONE thing in girls, what would it be?

Pez Daughter: Make them rely less on drama, make them realize their life is better without it.

The Pez Man: Do you think you will ever find the perfect guy?

Pez Daughter: Yes, I think I will, but I have no idea how. I am hoping it will just "happen." No guy is perfect, but I think I will find the guy for me.

The Pez Man: Who is the right guy for you? What do you look for in a guy?

Pez Daughter: Someone that cares, is funny, and I do not care about looks, I care about emotions and respect.

The Pez Man: This is a weird question for me to ask, but there is a saying that you will marry someone like your Mom or Dad, so do you think that you will marry someone like your Dad?

Pez Daughter: I have no idea. I do not look at it like that at all because I figure that one person will find me; I will find him. I tend not to really look for someone; it will just "happen." With my luck, it will be that one person who is right under my nose, and I never realized it. That is how my luck would be.

The Pez Man: Do you know any guys that are smarter than girls?

Pez Daughter: Well, there 's two different kinds of "smart." There is smart about grades and intelligence or there is smart about life. I know very few guys that are these types of smart. More girls are smart in those areas.

The Pez Man: How does this all happen?

Pez Daughter: Because we are all different and have different personalities. Guys do not tend to care until later in life. No specific age, just when they mature.

The Pez Man: OK...what happens when a dumb girl meets a dumb boy?

Pez Daughter: They get along. She will be a pop star and he will be a professional skateboarder. And they will live happily ever after.

The Pez Man: Interesting. How about when a smart girl meets a dumb guy?

Pez Daughter: That guy is going to be a skateboarder and has no future. The girl has brains and is frustrated by the whole thing.

The Pez Man: Really. How about when a smart guy meets a dumb girl?

Pez Daughter: The guy is not going to want to deal with the drama, so he either breaks up with her or gets emotionless action. The girl must have nice boobs if this is going to work out.

The Pez Man: How many smart guys have you met in your life?

Pez Daughter: Probably 3 or 4.

The Pez Man: How many smart girls have you met in your life?

Pez Daughter: A Lot More!

The Pez Man: How do you know that you are a smart girl or a dumb girl?

Pez Daughter: I am a smart girl because my future plan is all set, and I have a back up plan. I have thought about my financial situation, and I am avoiding drama. I know that I want a good life; I know how to get it. I am smart.

The Pez Man: I think we should do a whole Blog series on "Conversations with my 14 Year old daughter!"

Pez Daughter: Yeah, maybe. Is that all you wanted?

The Pez Man: Yeah, thanks! It was fun chatting with you on this topic. I found it interesting.

Pez Daughter: That is because you are one of the smart ones. Congratulations.

The Pez Man Speaks....Really!

2008-05-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

I have been blogging and using MySpace for several years now. I am one of the few people that I know that likes MySpace. My blogs were all in rhyme, so I will use this one for non-rhyming thoughts and other "mind projects." I work with young adults and for some reason, MySpace is their main way of communication on the Internet. MySpace has given me lots of thoughts on the actual vision of the world and society seen by youth today, which I will get into in future blogs. But first and foremost, I should introduce myself.

My name is Ron and my claim to my "15 minutes of fame" is my PEZ Collection. Having collected PEZ for years, and having an article in the newspaper, which was picked up by the Associated Press, I quickly became known as "The PEZ Man." Even my local television station came by to interview me briefly. I had a small display of my collection at the local library as well, which I was told was one of their most popular exhibits. There is power in Pez. I have over 3,000 Pez on display in my basement and people who visit tell me I must have one of the largest collections in the world. I laugh and tell them that my collection is considered very small in the Pez Collector Circles. I like PEZ because it makes people smile, laugh, communicate, and share. It is that simple.

I am a huge believer in what i call "LPD." It stands for "Lasting Positive Difference." LPD is simply a way of living. For years I have amassed a file that I label "LPD." In this file I place all the letters, cards, notes, scribbles, or any written form of compliments. And when I am having a bad day, where I think I am useless, or not worthy, or some other form of negativity, I go to this file and I begin to read. There I find the words of family, friends, and others who think I am great, or who tell me what I did for them made a difference. Yes you could think this was an ego file, but more importantly, it tells you how YOU do life changing things; sometimes without even knowing it.

Whether we like it or not, we are mentors to everyone around us. And believe it or not, we all change the world, we all impact lives. Why not reflect upon it in a time of need for ourselves?

When I began working as a Mentor Coordinator for Big Brothers Big Sisters, I had no idea how much this file would help me. I now teach this concept in all my mentor trainings. A few mentors have actually started these files and they talk about them in such a positive manner. Imagine what their file will look like in 20 years from now! Do you have a file?

I would challenge you to create a LPD file. And remember that as technology increases, so does your LPD file. Create a home file or place them in a binder. On your computer, you can create an LPD File and place mail messages in this file. There is no excuse for not having an LPD file!

This concludes my first post. You will soon learn that my position at Big Brothers Big Sisters means a lot to me. In many ways, I feel that this is the area that I can really change the world in my own comfort zone. I work very hard for this organization and love what I do. BBBS itself is a Lasting Positive Difference because I have seen so many youth in my community positively change because of being involved in this program.

Your comments are always welcome...some may even become a blog topic.