Memories of Holidays Past

As houses change from dark to brilliant lights,
As lawns begin to get covered with sticky white,
The memories of holidays past begin to ignite.

As a little guy Santa was a powerful thought,
I wondered if I’d see him, or get a quick snap-shot!
See the reindeer, the magic, and the presents he brought!

I remember decorating the house with gadgets and stuff,
Making it look over-festive til Mom said, “Enough!”
Dad was tall; hit his head on a hanging Christmas ball.

Christmas Eve was special; the family all together,
We would flock to Mom’s like birds of a feather,
No matter what happened; no matter the weather.

Each year Uncle Joe made his baskets of wood,
And Aunt Connie brought ham that was finger-lickin’ good
Everything was good, fun, and made it a great childhood.

As a married man, I whispered a huge thanks to the Lord above
As we experienced our first Christmas; full of hope and love,
But I remember the first divorce holiday; with none of the above.

The magic of children at Christmas makes the holiday great.
Watching their innocence in motion as they celebrate.
You see the hope in their eyes as they lay down to wait.

In the morning they awake to a different feeling; a different day;
Justin is excited for the bowling ball he has wanted in the worst way.
Alexandra opens the Barbie Doll as tall as she…it’s a happy holiday.

The family gets together to eat leftovers and to share,
The joys of the day, and what happened here and there.
The kids are over-tired; hugging good ole Mr. Teddy Bear.

As I sit here thinking; of all the holidays that have passed,
I know that I am lucky; because it has been a total blast!

What is your favorite holiday memory? Will you share it with us?
Did someone drop a pie, did grandma make a big fuss?
Hit the comment button and type…don’t be a “Gloomy Gus!”

Do Something With The Duck!

Here's an interesting quote that was sent to me today:

Getting your ducks in a row is not nearly as powerful as actually doing something with your duck.
-Seth Godin


So what does this mean to you? I know a lot of workers who toil everyday to get their ducks in a row. These ducks in a line help you achieve your job goal for which you are reviewed on at some point in the year. I am sure that some people line up their ducks and do nothing with them at all. They can line up a ton of ducks, but can't do anything with the ducks.

I tend to think that I line up a ton of ducks. I do execute the ducks that I have and some ducks are successful and other ducks are failures. There is nothing worse than a duck that can't swim. I have certainly had enough duck failures to know, but I have also had many duck successes. To some, I may do too much with my ducks because then they are asked to line up ducks as well and execute those ducks. I line up my ducks and do something with my ducks because I see the larger pond at the end of the horizon. Once you line up enough ducks, they can actually move to the place you want them, but not without great guidance and care. And sometimes you pick up random ducks along the way and the line gets bigger than you thought it would. Ok, you might lose a few along the way too, but there is always a hint of "SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST" in the duck process.

To be honest, I have recently begun to get bored with lining up ducks and doing something with the ducks. I used to have so much fun lining up those darned ducks, and even if I failed, it was a testament to what really worked. This is Duck Research. I sometimes think that I have executed so many ducks that I dream of simply lining them up again and letting someone else do something with the ducks...a sort of team effort. My view of the pond has changed. Somewhere along the way it became a raging river. I know I led the ducks to this, but can you do too much with the ducks? I think so.

Just yesterday I had to walk myself from the ledge. And I was wondering how I got to the ledge in the first place. Then this quote came along, and with all my other thoughts, it hit me...I am lining up ducks and doing something with the ducks, but maybe it is not what is wanted, or maybe I am more concerned with the ducks safety than anyone else. Failure can be success. But what I experienced lately was that I lined up the ducks, and was doing something with the ducks, when out of the blue someone else came in and took ownership of my duck. So while I am not the one leading it to the great pond (or river), I did help bring that duck "in line" and to a place where it can be used for success. It just won't be my success.

So while some people just line up ducks, and others execute ducks in proper fashion, and some do both, I see my duck being taken from my line to another line. My first thought was that the whole situation was a waste of time...and in many ways it was, but the duck will live. And this duck will provide job protection, company profits, and community spirit to many, but not for me. At first this made me emotional, and now it merely "quacks" me up. I am happy my duck will live to bring so much joy; even if it is not my personal joy. A good duck is a good duck, isn't it?

I don't think I can line up ducks like I used to. I don't think I can do anything with the volume of ducks. I think I might watch the pond, and help those individual ducks that need attention. I will allow the others around me to line up ducks and give it a whirl. I have experienced a lot from my ducks, and worked hard for a lot of my ducks, but maybe those around me have not. And while they complain about the size of the pond, maybe I need to just "duck out" for a while and see if others populate the pond. I know they can. They know they can. And we will see if they want to really work to achieve the experiences of duck failure and duck success.

Interesting quote, isn't it? Read it again yourself and see what comes into your mind. There is no right or wrong answer. Do it. What the duck do you have to lose anyway?

The Word I Need is The Word That Was...

When you are not feeling well, not up to par, what do you do?

Lately, I find that my normal outlets are not working.

I am finding that the words I need to console me are words that are gone. I wonder what my father would think of my life, what he would give me for advice. What would he tell me today?

I have been yearning for the company of my father, a man who never really got to know the man that I am, and the man I still yearn to be. As I celebrate my "birth"day today, I wonder how he really felt when he saw me born into the cold world. As I was born, the nation was laying to rest a fallen President. What was the emotion like? The words I need to hear are words far gone. All that is left is what I carry inside my mind, heart and soul. I want to just cry. Do you ever just want to cry?

I did a presentation last week, and as I spoke about a castle building project my father taught me for a high school (freshman year) project, I found my mind racing. I had not really thought about the emotion of that project between my father and I until I was standing before a room full of people. It was not the place to talk about my Dad in great length, but more of a bridge to another passion of mine; mentoring.

I ended up having to turn the presentation over to a co-worker of mine, who I warned that I would do this if I lost my way. I had time to regroup. As she spoke, I got my mind together, and prayed that I could pull this whole thing together and finish. I literally felt like my job, and the job of those around me, were on the line if I did not get my act together. The word I need is the word that was, and I had to do this alone. I finished the presentation with success, and it was echoed by the comments of others. My job was done, and the decisions or reactions of this presentation will not make themselves known for many months. I am hopeful.

The words I need are far gone conversations. I am the only one that can relive them, I am the only one that can speak inside myself, but no one answers. My inner voice has no reply because the words I need to hear cannot be heard, they can only be remembered, and that comes with misplaced emotion; it is not enough for me.

The Universe declared a moment of silence and all I want to do is scream. I have looked to God a lot today, and I feel his presence, but I am not hearing the words I need to hear. I guess I have nothing to fear if my father is near; even if it is silent. I have to trust in his guidance even though I am not what one would call "religious." I am Christian, for sure.

The word I need is the word that was...and maybe that is a gift I am not recognizing correctly. At least I have the memories. I think of the Littles in my program who do not ever ever ever get the words they need. I shouldn't complain. I should feel lucky, but I yearn for the words that I need; the words that were.

Tomorrow is a new day...I will look toward tomorrow with hope.

A "MEME" Tag

I never heard of a "MeMe" until I was recently tagged by Megin to do one, so here it goes!

Here are the rules: Someone tags me, I write and link back to them. I then tag other people, and they link back to me as well. At the end of the day, we know more about each other then we did when we started.

So here are "5 moments (or memories of moments) that I love" meme:

1. The room is still with only the light of the moon coming through the blinds. I am sitting next to the crib of my daughter looking at her beautiful face as she sleeps the night away. I wonder how I could have helped make something so perfect. As I touch her little cheek, she takes in a big breath of air, as if a sigh, and exhales, moving her mouth just so, and keeps her little face toward the soft blanket. I whisper, "Daddy loves you more than you will ever know." Her mouth seems to form a slight smile. I loved that moment.

2. It has been a long day, nothing has gone right. A friend calls, the day has gone all wrong for her, too. We decide to go out for a late snack and we talk. And talk. And talk. Nothing was resolved. As we are leaving, she gets into my backseat to avoid the torrent of rain. It was meant to be a quick stop until the rain got lighter. I in the front, she in the back, we end up laughing so much we have to try to ignore each other, which we can't. Our stomachs hurt, and we both wish the rain would lighten, but yet, this moment has been the best part of the day. I love that moment.

3. My kids have their friends over and we play "Us Trivia;" where we ask questions about ourselves that the others in the room should know. There is laughter. More laughter. And even more laughter. I love that moment.

4. I can't sleep, and it is a snowy or rainy night. I sit on the couch that overlooks the picture window of the totally darkened living room. I put on a light blanket or afghan, and I gaze out the window to watch the rain fall onto the bushes, the road, whatever. When it is snowing, I can see the icicles form on the individual stems of the bushes. Everything is shiny, glazed over. Slow motion of life as I sit an watch. It is a peaceful roar. I love that moment.

5. I am in bed and I awaken, but it seems like my body hasn't. I feel like I am floating. I feel like my soul is out of my body and taking in the serenity of life. It is a strange feeling, but I like it. I wonder if I am dreaming, but yet, I know I am not. I feel totally free. I love that moment.


Bonus Moment:
Walking along the ocean with the wind blowing all around me. The roar of the winds and water make me feel powerful; rejuvenating my soul and spirit. I love that moment.

Reformation Sunday

Today was a special day for my daughter. She was confirmed as an adult member of our church. I know that this day does not hold the true understanding for her as it does for me. I feel compelled to share the emotions that I am feeling.

When I was my daughter's age, I went through the same process that she did, except there were many more youth in my class than hers. My parents were not considered religious, and I do not think my daughter would consider me religious either. What was important was the religious education.

Baptism was important for me because it meant the washing away of original sin, of being a part of the Lord's family, being a child of God. I remember that as my daughter was baptized, and had her first communion, I felt a lot of emotion. I was not sure where it came from.

And today, as Pastor was affirming my daughter as an adult part of this church, I felt that same emotion come forward. I even turned to see where I could go because I thought I was not going to be able to hold my emotions intact. I have no idea where this emotion comes from. Is it God? is it something from my soul? I felt a lot of spirits around me. I truly did. I felt that I had done the right thing, I had given my daughter a gift of religion, of education, and took proper care of God's Child.

My daughter can now have the promise of God's Grace & Forgiveness as well as the earthly element of bread, wine, and water, as commanded and instituted by Christ.

She is now a sister of the church, a member of the congregation. This is comforting to me because I know she has a whole new family. What can be better for your child than that?


As Pastor explained the meanings of each girl's names, it was funny how she said that my daughter's name meant defender of man. She also said that my daughter has a way of taking care of people, of shining a light, of helping. Pastor hoped that my daughter would be the shining light for many in her lifetime, and that it is all a direct link to God's love.

I know my daughter may not fully understand the gift she has been given today, but maybe when she has her own children, and stands at their baptism, their first communion, and their confirmation, will she experience the joys I have felt, the emotions that overcome me, and the pride in my soul. Maybe my spirit will be around her as well.

I hope my daughter lives in the word of God, follows her obligations to the best of her ability, and remains in awe of what God gives.

I am a proud father that is full of God's Grace daily, but today was a dramatic realization and reminder of those feelings.

I LIKE YOU!

I love this video and I expect all my readers to go to this web site and look at this right NOW! It will make you feel so good just by watching it. There is something about it that makes you feel positive.

Click on the colored text below:
I LIKE YOU!

Candy of the Night

My daughter had taped "Phantom of The Opera" on our DVR. She had just gotten up for the day (10:00am), and as she sleepily watched the movie, I got into it as well. Having been up a while longer than she, and being very silly, I began to change the words to all the songs. One really made her laugh when she didn't want to laugh, so I thought I would complete it as best I could. I think my "Live Improv" is much funnier because it is "of the moment," but here is a toned down version.

My poor daughter had to ignore me as I belted out my improv of "Candy of The Night." Good thing that I think I am so damned funny! And to think, other Father's are merely "normal!"


CANDY OF THE NIGHT

Sweet-time happens, heightens your sensations ...
chocolate stirs and breathes imagination ...
silently all senses abandon their defenses ...

Slowly, gently stores unfurls its splendour ...
Grasp it, buy it - bag it now and take it ...
Turn your face away from the healthy diet way,
turn your thoughts away from cold, cantalope bites -
and consider the candy of the night ...

Close your eyes and surrender to your sweetest dreams!
Purge your thoughts of the fruit you knew before!
Close your eyes, let your sweetness start to soar!
And you'll eat as you've never eaten before ...

Kit Kat, Snickers, candy shall surround you ...
Reese's, Pieces, Pay Days all around you ...
Open up your mouth, allow your sweet tooth power,
in this sweetness which you know you cannot fight -
the sweetness of the candy of the night.

Let your mouth start a journey through a sweet, new world!
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before!
Let the sugar
Take you where you long to be!
Eating chocolate with calories ...

Mars Bars, Hersheys, sweet and sour sweet tarts!
Mister, Good Bar, savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your sweeter side give in to the sweetness of
the candy that I eat - the sweetness of the candy of the night ...

You eating can make my sugar flight -
help me eat my candy of the night ...