Sunday, June 1, 2008

Say What You Mean To Say...

We all know that communication can be difficult. Our current emotions can make us filter another person's message incorrectly. So I guess we have to learn to say what we really mean to say. Here is an example.

My Friend (In a Pierced Lip tone):
Where the heck have you been all day? (The Look).

Well, I have been doing....umm, Hey, are you mad at me because I am here so late? Or have you had a bad day? or did you just miss me? (Me, Smiling Brightly).

My Friend (Smiling):
I guess I just missed you and wished I had seen you earlier, that is all.

Me (Smiling):
I missed you, too, and wish I had been here earlier too!

Interesting isn't it? My friend wasn't mad at me, she was just communicating that she wished I was there earlier. This was all about Love and kindness, not anger and hatred!

So next time someone treats you like this, just ask...Is this what you mean to say?
It can cut through a lot of non-verbal wondering and get right to the meat of the subject. Communicating is difficult with the busyness and business of life, so make it as simple as you can.

1 comment:

Rob said...

I appreciate this Ron. I have been doing a lot more of this myself. I call it 'checking my meaning'. In those moments, instead of reacting to what someone has said, I am pausing to reflect first on the meaning I made from what they said, and then checking their meaning.

It's amazing what can happen when we really want to understand instead of just being understood.